A Church Fail?

I'm noticing something interesting lately and I'm not really sure exactly what I think about it, but I'd love to get some discussion going around here. I think it's a bit of a big topic and that there are going to major underlying issues that led to what I'm noticing now. I'd say what's got my attention is symptoms of something bigger that I don't quite have my finger on yet.

So let's get started.

What I'm noticing is a certain disconnect in the land of Christianity, or at least modern American church Christianity. There are some people who have crossed my path in the last few months that have shared some interesting stories. They told me their tales of how they came to the place of leaving their church and more interestingly how the church responded. Now, I'd say these aren't big important people in the church, but shouldn't we all, to an extent, be peers in the church. A novel idea, I guess. I'm sure someone will give me the Biblical lecture as to my incorrectness. Thanks for the references.

These are the sort of people who are easily dismissed. And let's be honest, there are just groups of people that we love to over look. We all do it. We each have our own groups of people that we over look and dismiss, whether it's the business man dismissing the 20 somethings or the jocks dismissing the preps or the stay home moms dismissing the working moms.

On the other hand, though, these are the reliable people, the loyal people. These are the sort of people who volunteer over and over and over even though they're getting the blank stare from the pastor who, after having them as a key volunteer for years on end, ought to know more about them than their first name, if they even know that.

These kind of people, what I'll call the basic body of the church people, for lack of a better label, are beginning to leave their churches. And who can blame them. They're burnt out. They're under appreciated. They're misunderstood and in spite of knowing a lot of church people and having a lot of church friends, they're lonely. The friends they have aren't deep. The friends they have a great at giving all the correct Biblical advice that allows them to stand in the position of righteous Christian church goer, but where are the people being real? Where are the people wanting to dig into something together?

The basic body people are believers, they're rule followers, they're not the sort that leave churches easily or willy-nilly because they no longer like the song format or the new and improved bulletin. These are people who spend many months in prayer. They seek out opinions and council about whether or not to leave their church. They stay long after they believe they've come to a decision about leaving.

It's interesting in two fronts. The most obvious interest is why are these people, the basic body people, leaving their churches. The second interest, the one I wonder about more, is the reaction from those in the church at large to those who are leaving. We'll call this group of people in the church, the followers, for lack of a better term.

I'm thinking followers because they are typically the ones that know all the Sunday school answers and can easily regurgitate any amount of mostly sound Biblical back up they need. I'm not about to speculate on their believer-ness status. That's between them and God, as is most of this in reality. These are the people who participate in a lot of stuff and are by all visible accounts great church going people.

Maybe, I personally, am just tired of the simple church going breed. I'm greedy. I want, I expect so much more from being a believer.

As I have watched these stories unfold and listened to the tales told over the last few months, I'm really struck by the response of the follower group. They are almost condemning these basic body people for their choice to move on to another church. They heap on advice and evidence and scripture. They actually pile on guilt.

Why?

Is it fear? Are we confused about the body of the church and what the church really is? Is it a power thing?

I almost forgot, there's another thing that I think ties into all this, but I'm not sure how exactly. For myself, I'm not unhappy exactly, with my current church, but there are things... I find myself, seeking out extras. I will confess to downloading podcasts of sermons from other places that I find to be so much more interesting, challenging, whatever and I wonder if that's a "wrong" thing to do?

Talk to me kids, what do you think? Tell me your story and your experience. I know there is no shortage of opinion out there on this one, so let's talk this weekend, shall we? See you in the comments.

Time Stood Still

What can I tell you about the weekend?

It was fantastic. We ate fabulous food at Saigon Noodles, Pasqual's and Sardine. We also snarfed up some super delicious chocolates, wines and wow! super, super amazing cupcakes!

We strolled up and down Monroe St. and State St. We sprinted back down State St. though to get to our parking meter on time. Silly us, we got there and still had 30 minutes on our meter!

We stayed up stupid late and slept in. We painted our toes, because we're girls and we can. We saw some sort of transvestite or cross dressing fashion challenged goth and 80's neon sort of vampire person. Ah, the sights of State St.

We added up how many kids we have between us. There are 7 moms (we only saw 6 this weekend). Together we have 22 kids. The idea floated around once that we should plan a get together with all the kids and do a group photo of them all. I think it would be fun, but would involve a lot of bribes.

A group of my girls took me to my church on Sunday. It was an event. Right after I moved, the church moved. They built a big new building and, well, already filled it up and need to expand it soon. It was great and overwhelming and beautiful and bittersweet all at once. I saw a few old faces and shared a couple of hugs and heard an absolutely amazing sermon. That's a part of the bittersweet. The teaching we had was so very good and I miss it. Take a look at it here. It's a little long, it is a sermon after all, but well worth your time.

The best part was purely sentimental on my part. I haven't been able to think it, say it or write it down without getting all teary eyed. My girls, my girls, have got my back.

After all these years, all the space and distance and sometime silences, it was easy and pure and simple and still what it was plus more. It's the test and measure of true friendship. The moment where you all reconnect, have that hug, and realize your right back where you once were.

For all our laughter and our crazy day dreams of elderly ladies on cruise ships, drinking boat drinks and talking about days gone by or our plan to have a wing of a nursing home all to ourselves and make one meal a day be wine and chocolates, I sincerely hope we manage to make this a yearly thing.

That would be a gift.

Summer Dreamin'

Could summer and heaven be the same thing? Or could heaven be like the most ideal summer day and night?

• clear blue skies, warmth, gentle breezes
• evenings without bugs
• beaches and pools and swimming and sand without sunburn and rashes and swallowing bad water or getting swimmers ear
• camp fires and smores
• BBQ and cold salads and lemonades and fresh fruit and frozen treats
• family and friends and parties and picnics
• naps
• books and board games and baseball
• bike rides
• walking into sweltering heat
• sweating
• walking into cool air conditioning
• boats and lakes and sailing and hammocks
• umbrella drinks
• photos
• reunions with long ago friends
• lazy conversations and vacation post cards
• vacation anticipation
• coming home
• sleeping with the windows open
• cool nights after hot days
• sunglasses and the smells of sun screen
• bubbles and kites and blankets on the grass
• outdoor concerts
• tiki torches and patio parties
• beer in washtubs of ice
• bare feet
• sidewalk chalk and scraped knees and summer love
• freedom
• farm markets
• fire works and root beer floats and county fairs
• staying up too late just because
• sunsets
• thunderstorms
• playing in the rain
• sunrises
• birds
• flowers and green grass and trees with leaves
• tan and freckled and peeling kids faces
• the smell of the pool on the hottest day in August
• the super darkness of a movie theater in the middle of a summer afternoon
• road trips and surprises and butterflies
• unexpected kisses and magic moments
• the feeling of knowing you're making a memory the moment you're doing it
• feeling alive

Time for you to play along, add to the ideal summer heaven list. I can't wait to hear what would be on your list!

I Know I'm Whining But I Sort Of Have A Point

But come on now. I've been having an experience today in Foster Care Land that makes me see exactly how it is that cases end up as front page news or breaking head lines. I'm getting a clear picture of just exactly why some of these laws to make sure a definite plan is put in place for a child on a time frame.

It's a little frustrating.

Now, I know how this goes. I know I'm complaining. I know that I've done what I can do at this point to fix up any loose ends that I'm really able to impact. I know that everything else for me has to rest on faith. I know that I believe my God really is in charge of this whole thing even though my very limited sight line doesn't show me how it ends up.

I believe I can be both frustrated and faithful. But there is a line there. I cannot allow my frustrations in humans and their failings or what I see as their failings draw a line between God and I. That would be an even bigger issue.

It's the same, in a way, with my issue with my friend. Yesterday I was letting my frustration with silence build an attitude that I don't want to harbor in my heart. She has a place in my heart and in my life that is hers alone and no one and nothing can fill it up. It is simply hers. Having her being quiet, a measure that is in no small part saving her from a big ol' pile of yuck, is hard. No doubt about it. Since last fall there have been many, many times that I simply wanted to hear her voice or share a laugh. I wanted to have her being a part of my joy and standing with me for a moment when sorrow or frustration hit. It's weird. A strange sort of lonely. I know she will be back. I know we have much laughter to share in the future. I know there will be tea and talking and tears and it will all return in it's time.

But again. Sometimes it's frustrating.

And I could let that frustration draw a line between us that would slowly become a giant chasm.

I choose not to.

In the mean time, in real life, we've entered the terrible Tuesdays. For the next few weeks we have 2 kids in 2 different activities at exactly the same time. It's simply the plague of parenting. You are but one person and need to be in many places being many things to many children all at once. How we ever do it and have it be enough for any one of the kids, I'll never know. It almost makes me wish I had that time stopping and restarting thing from those Harry Potter books. Remember that thing-y? It would be super useful wouldn't it?

Yeah, you know it would.