Just after lunch today the phone rang. Caller ID said XYZ school district. Instantly it seemed like a call to answer.
Now, with Little Mr. being one of my kids and him having, um, issues, I just assume that when I get calls they'll involve him.
Imagine my surprise when the nice lady voice on the other end said, "Hi, this is principal Suzy from Littlest Mr.'s elementary school."
I'm so bad. I started laughing and said, "Yes?"
In my mind I'm thinking, really??? Come on!!! It hasn't even been two full days yet!!
It turns out that kick ball is a whole lot more competitive than I remember it being. Or maybe I just don't remember being a 3rd grade boy.
Either way, I'm a little happy to be on the "victim" end of all this.
It seems Mr. Jock, I mean Littlest Mr., got the boy out and this upset him a bit. Instead of calling my son a #$%&* or anything like that, he just hauled off and gave him a big old bite. Littlest Mr. though, was unfazed. He didn't cry or fuss about it all. He finished out the game and the recess and then took the ice pack at the nurses insistence.
Our new chipper lady principal wanted to call ahead and give me the heads up before L.M. gets home from school. She also wanted me to know that things with the biter were being, "addressed and handled", whatever that means.
I had a little bit of relief knowing it wasn't the child that has been a thorn in someones side for the last 2 years and that all these years of being the middle child between the Ausperger and the Fosters with "issues" that he was able to take the whole thing in stride and shake it off.
Cool.
Showing posts with label parents. Show all posts
Showing posts with label parents. Show all posts
Thursday, September 2, 2010
Friday, April 23, 2010
Foster The Grouch
I've been doing this foster care thing for a while now, and I like to think that I've learned well how to let things slide off me and how to leave things at the cross.
There are a few times though, when I feel like Foster the Grouch instead of a foster momma. Maybe it's just my momma bear in action. Who knows? What I do know is that there are two times when I feel cranky with a birth parent.
Now, there are plenty of times that I feel cranky about the whole dang system, the policies, the politics, the courts, the 10,000 people who all have their hand in a case claiming they're doing something "for the good of the child"--yeah, right.
Anyway.
One of the two times that I get cranked off with a birth parent is when they question my intentions, especially when I'm intentionally doing something I see as positive. Granted, I can be short sighted and forget to look at a situation thoroughly from another person's perspective, but still, when I'm the sole caregiver for your precious child, don't, I mean it, don't question my motives. I have yet to meet a birth parent that I didn't root for, pray for and sincerely hope that they would figure out all their stuff and get it together to have their kid back. That's the best thing for everyone, but sometimes it doesn't go that way.
The second time that I turn into Foster the Grouch is when I'm doing seemingly endless rounds of medical appointments or getting ready to take a child in for surgery. Every stinkin time I sit with a sick, crying baby in my arms, that has to endure some awful medical something, even a booster shot, I get cranky. I sit stewing just a little thinking where is that parent. This is the real deal in parenting. You should be here. This is where it all hits the fan because you have to be able to do these things for your child and for you to just allow someone else, some stranger, to be the one to hold and comfort your baby while he or she endures whatever necessary medical thing is happening, just plain cranks me up.
It's unfair to all of us. It's unfair to the child. They need their parent. Period. It's unfair to the birth parent. They need to learn to handle life with a child. They need to prove to everyone, themselves included, that they can do it. And can I tell you, even though I signed on for this, even though it's my "job", it's unfair. It feels unfair to be the go between, in this situation. I feel this way on holidays too. It feels unfair to ask me to fill up the hole that the birth parent leaves in a child by simply not being there. It's unfair because it's a hole too big for a simple replacement human to fill.
It's the rub of this job. Even the seemingly self-righteous crank drives me to prayer. I simply don't believe it's possible to live this life without dropping to my knees and being fully dependent on HIM to get by, to get through.
There are a few times though, when I feel like Foster the Grouch instead of a foster momma. Maybe it's just my momma bear in action. Who knows? What I do know is that there are two times when I feel cranky with a birth parent.
Now, there are plenty of times that I feel cranky about the whole dang system, the policies, the politics, the courts, the 10,000 people who all have their hand in a case claiming they're doing something "for the good of the child"--yeah, right.
Anyway.
One of the two times that I get cranked off with a birth parent is when they question my intentions, especially when I'm intentionally doing something I see as positive. Granted, I can be short sighted and forget to look at a situation thoroughly from another person's perspective, but still, when I'm the sole caregiver for your precious child, don't, I mean it, don't question my motives. I have yet to meet a birth parent that I didn't root for, pray for and sincerely hope that they would figure out all their stuff and get it together to have their kid back. That's the best thing for everyone, but sometimes it doesn't go that way.
The second time that I turn into Foster the Grouch is when I'm doing seemingly endless rounds of medical appointments or getting ready to take a child in for surgery. Every stinkin time I sit with a sick, crying baby in my arms, that has to endure some awful medical something, even a booster shot, I get cranky. I sit stewing just a little thinking where is that parent. This is the real deal in parenting. You should be here. This is where it all hits the fan because you have to be able to do these things for your child and for you to just allow someone else, some stranger, to be the one to hold and comfort your baby while he or she endures whatever necessary medical thing is happening, just plain cranks me up.
It's unfair to all of us. It's unfair to the child. They need their parent. Period. It's unfair to the birth parent. They need to learn to handle life with a child. They need to prove to everyone, themselves included, that they can do it. And can I tell you, even though I signed on for this, even though it's my "job", it's unfair. It feels unfair to be the go between, in this situation. I feel this way on holidays too. It feels unfair to ask me to fill up the hole that the birth parent leaves in a child by simply not being there. It's unfair because it's a hole too big for a simple replacement human to fill.
It's the rub of this job. Even the seemingly self-righteous crank drives me to prayer. I simply don't believe it's possible to live this life without dropping to my knees and being fully dependent on HIM to get by, to get through.
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