On Friday, we started making the transition back to 3 kids. It's pretty quiet around here. I expect it will still take a few more days to really get back to our regular sort of life, but we're on the path.
Over all, it's been pretty smooth. We're all a bit tired and our bodies seem a little sore and worn out. On the emotional side, we're having some short tempers, a need for alone time, and a few tears. And that's just the grown ups---no, I'm kidding, well, only sort of.
It was a long 8 days, and we all absorbed a lot. Certainly none of it was bad, I wouldn't change any of it, and I'd do it again in a breath, but still, we're feeling it a bit.
As for Andrew, he's having another big day of medical stuff, so keep him in your prayers. The blessings are abundant though. His response to treatments has been great and most tests have had pretty good results.
In my part of this, I've been reminded of two things. The first I touched on a few days ago. We "do" things like this by faith. We can't see or know the out comes, we can't understand or answer the "why is this happening" questions, but we have faith and we take the next step. The second thing is that God is faithful, He keeps His word and His promise. Through all the ups and downs, through all the challenges I've ever experienced, I've never been given more than I could handle--with Him, or something that had no way out.
My thoughts are still scattered. I'm guessing I'm just like my boys, and I'll need at least a few more days to really process. We just had a lot of stuff pile up all at once and it was intense to know that really all of it, were things beyond our control. There were plenty of things I wanted to worry over and fuss about, but in the end, there was nothing I could do about any of the situations. There is still nothing I can do, but my part, then pray, and then wait.
There it is. The wait. That's the hardest part for me. I just like things to move swiftly and cleanly, but life isn't like that and certainly not Christian life. Seems that doing the right thing is often messy. Some things, I'm just having a hard time letting go of. I've recognized my selfishness and it stings. I'm trying to let my wants go and see instead what God may have planned for us. I'm trying to take my eyes off myself.
It goes like this. I want what God wants for us. I want what is best for my family. I want to do the work that God wants me to do. But, temptation is great and I am human. Temptation can look like so many honorable things and yet when you really examine it, it's still just temptation.
I foresee a long year ahead of waiting. Waiting on God and waiting on my own selfishness, my own strongholds, my choice to let go and let go and let go, over and over, day after day.
No comments:
Post a Comment