True Confessions

OK, I admit, I'm totally jacked about bringing home another baby. And a girl no less.

I'll also admit that I woke up several times last night just trying to work out the logistics of things inside my head. For example, this pushes me into a whole different grocery cart category, because, even though I'm a "fun" mom, I'm not into the whole 2 year old loose in the aisles sort of fun. That is reserved for the medicated.

I started thinking about the whole sleeping thing. While the 2 year old is long beyond wanting to be in the crib for a multitude of reasons beyond my control, I'm not so sure she'll be thrilled to share it with a new baby.

I had a long list of what ifs running around all night. I still have some this morning, but I also have a realization.

God's going to do what God's going to do.

For all I know, yesterday was simply Him checking in to see if I remembered that He would ask difficult things of me and my job is to say yes. Today the whole thing may go another way and Baby Girl may never come home to this house. Or she may come just for a long weekend, although, I think Little Miss was supposed to just come for the weekend too...hm, I can hardly remember back that far. Maybe in foster care land 2 years time is equal to a long weekend.

Anyway. There were some great moments of realizing just how far I've come as a foster mom. Late last night after the kids were asleep I went down stairs to my storage area and sifted through the bags of open diapers. Newborn under 10 lb size? You bet. Next on to the clothes. Itty-bitty size? Yup. Had some of those too. Yellow and green, just in case you were wondering, not pink and blue. Before I got into the shower, The Mr. had recovered the infant seat from the spider webs in the basement too.

Cool but scary too.

And so today, we'll wait on the Lord to see what He does in His perfect plans that we are simply blessed to be a working part of. I love being a tool in His hand.

We will care for this little babe the same way as all the others, one moment at a time, trying to take each new quirk and unexpected change of plan as if they were expected and totally normal. Above all, we'll love her as God requests and requires.