I Know I'm Whining But I Sort Of Have A Point

But come on now. I've been having an experience today in Foster Care Land that makes me see exactly how it is that cases end up as front page news or breaking head lines. I'm getting a clear picture of just exactly why some of these laws to make sure a definite plan is put in place for a child on a time frame.

It's a little frustrating.

Now, I know how this goes. I know I'm complaining. I know that I've done what I can do at this point to fix up any loose ends that I'm really able to impact. I know that everything else for me has to rest on faith. I know that I believe my God really is in charge of this whole thing even though my very limited sight line doesn't show me how it ends up.

I believe I can be both frustrated and faithful. But there is a line there. I cannot allow my frustrations in humans and their failings or what I see as their failings draw a line between God and I. That would be an even bigger issue.

It's the same, in a way, with my issue with my friend. Yesterday I was letting my frustration with silence build an attitude that I don't want to harbor in my heart. She has a place in my heart and in my life that is hers alone and no one and nothing can fill it up. It is simply hers. Having her being quiet, a measure that is in no small part saving her from a big ol' pile of yuck, is hard. No doubt about it. Since last fall there have been many, many times that I simply wanted to hear her voice or share a laugh. I wanted to have her being a part of my joy and standing with me for a moment when sorrow or frustration hit. It's weird. A strange sort of lonely. I know she will be back. I know we have much laughter to share in the future. I know there will be tea and talking and tears and it will all return in it's time.

But again. Sometimes it's frustrating.

And I could let that frustration draw a line between us that would slowly become a giant chasm.

I choose not to.

In the mean time, in real life, we've entered the terrible Tuesdays. For the next few weeks we have 2 kids in 2 different activities at exactly the same time. It's simply the plague of parenting. You are but one person and need to be in many places being many things to many children all at once. How we ever do it and have it be enough for any one of the kids, I'll never know. It almost makes me wish I had that time stopping and restarting thing from those Harry Potter books. Remember that thing-y? It would be super useful wouldn't it?

Yeah, you know it would.