Well, we almost took a new placement today.
That's foster parent code for we almost moved some more kids into our lives.
It's a crazy bittersweet thing the moment that call comes.
It's a rush. It's exciting. Probably because I'm kind of crazy, it's super exciting and fun to me to know that new kids, more kids are about to join into our crazy, loud, messy life.
It's hard and aching because I know it means a family has hit rock bottom. Somehow, some way, stuff has gotten bad enough that someone else is stepping in.
Within minutes of the call starting, I'll be beginning to learn the details of the junk in these little people's lives. Over the course of their lives with me, be it 6 days or the rest of their lives, that junk will unfold like a rose bud opening up. Layer after layer will spread out and be exposed to the sun.
These kids won't be joining us today. Maybe in the future, but not today, at least in theory. Anyone that knows the system even a little knows how certain all those promises are!
It's been about 6 months now, since we let Little One go on his way. We took our time getting back in the game. We took the time we needed to heal over the loving and letting go. It hurt but it was so worth it. Collectively, all 6 of the people living here, are ready to go around again. For one, it will be the first time, if it happens. I am ready, finally, to love like that again.
I don't know how to give words to those moments. Honestly, I think only fellow foster parents understand. That moment the call comes and you are both excited and sad.
Maybe it's just the excitement of the potential adventure, it's that roller coaster climb. All they way up, clicking slowly on the track, you know vaguely what lies ahead. The drops, the turns, the lurching, plummeting twists, those insane crazy backward upside down slide moments. You scream all the way through, maybe even shut your eyes for a few turns. Maybe there's an easy stretch where you whip your arms up in the air and whoop with joy! And at the end, you're loving it. You've loved it. You're thrilled with the whole adventure. After you catch your breath, you're even ready to ride it again.