Around here it's Harley season.
I had no idea.
I knew these people really loved their bikes and that there are a lot of these people all across the country, but I still just had no idea.
I knew the big 105th Celebration thing was happening in the big city--Milwaukee that is, but I didn't know it would seep out into the burbs.
I didn't know that most of Waukesha would be closed to cars. I didn't know that regular city places like the library would be closed.
I'm sure it has to do with the location, but still, I'm trying to work it out in my mind. The Harley riders came to town because the big city didn't have enough space or beer?
The Little Mr. asked me this morning, "Hey Mom, what does riding a bike have to do with reading a book? Why is our library closed up?"
Umm, yeah, well...
It seems that the library isn't the only one getting into the Harley thing. I noticed in the paper yesterday that the trash collectors have used this as their opportunity to increase their bargin power. It seems that the riders came to town and the collectors went on strike. The trash company has found a "solution" by sending it's "upper levels" into the roads to do the routes and pick up the trash.
I'm all for hobbies and certainly Harley is a huge part of Wisconsin and Miwaukee. We all enjoy seeing them on the road and have a level of respect for those riders, but I am still surprised that their birthday party celebration is slipping into my little life.
Guess we'll be behind schedule with school right from day one. Books and CD's are on back order. Work book delivery delayed. Lesson plans aren't quite done and now we can't get library books until the first day of school. Our first day was already getting taken over by appointments and the first practice of this and the frist session of that, now we're going to have to add on a trip to the library too.
Oh well, can't let it get you down. We'll just study some other subjects more in depth that day.
Thursday, August 28, 2008
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
Yesterday Version 2
So last night I wrote to you about how wonderful and good my kids were during their long day at Children's, but I left out a few parts.
Our day started with the computer not starting up. And not starting and not starting. For about an hour I fiddled and futzed until the silly thing started working.
It is working again, but in a glitchy sort of way. I hate to say it, but I think it might be living it's last days.
Then we went outside. The boys worked hard at causing great bodily injury to each other and only succeeded in wounding the swing set. The glider is no longer a glider, just a hanging piece of metal on the side of the swing set.
Then we caught a very large and ugly bug. Here's how you do it, catch them live in plastic zipper bags or boxes. Then put them in the freezer. They die intact, so they look alive and there is no squish. It makes for something pretty interesting to look at later.
We tried to hurry an early lunch into the day before our drive out to Children's. It was only partly successful. Little Miss sort of redecorated out kitchen instead of eating her lunch. We left it for the dog and headed out to the van.
The van had a flat tire. We made a little detour to the filling station for air before heading down town. I've never filled a tire before, so that left me asking strangers for their opinions, as in, does this look like it has enough air?
Then somewhere along the day I lost an earring. Not that big a deal, but they were pearl earrings and I've had them forever. I've worn that pair almost every day for nearly 10 years. I have 3 piercings in each ear, so I can wear a lot of earrings every day, but I was just partial to that pair. Pearls go with everything. They're classic, you know.
Anyway, there were plenty of other goofy things too, like Little Miss squeezing her juice bag into her car seat as we sat in traffic, just because she likes to see the arc of juice come out of the straw. Oh yeah, good times!
Just goes to show there is more than one way to look at a day!
Our day started with the computer not starting up. And not starting and not starting. For about an hour I fiddled and futzed until the silly thing started working.
It is working again, but in a glitchy sort of way. I hate to say it, but I think it might be living it's last days.
Then we went outside. The boys worked hard at causing great bodily injury to each other and only succeeded in wounding the swing set. The glider is no longer a glider, just a hanging piece of metal on the side of the swing set.
Then we caught a very large and ugly bug. Here's how you do it, catch them live in plastic zipper bags or boxes. Then put them in the freezer. They die intact, so they look alive and there is no squish. It makes for something pretty interesting to look at later.
We tried to hurry an early lunch into the day before our drive out to Children's. It was only partly successful. Little Miss sort of redecorated out kitchen instead of eating her lunch. We left it for the dog and headed out to the van.
The van had a flat tire. We made a little detour to the filling station for air before heading down town. I've never filled a tire before, so that left me asking strangers for their opinions, as in, does this look like it has enough air?
Then somewhere along the day I lost an earring. Not that big a deal, but they were pearl earrings and I've had them forever. I've worn that pair almost every day for nearly 10 years. I have 3 piercings in each ear, so I can wear a lot of earrings every day, but I was just partial to that pair. Pearls go with everything. They're classic, you know.
Anyway, there were plenty of other goofy things too, like Little Miss squeezing her juice bag into her car seat as we sat in traffic, just because she likes to see the arc of juice come out of the straw. Oh yeah, good times!
Just goes to show there is more than one way to look at a day!
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
How Does She Do It?
Well, I'm telling you, I just plain don't know. She's made of stronger stuff than I. That's all I can say.
Oh, yeah, and she's got God.
Who and what am I talking about?
Well, The Missy Sissy of course.
I spent a good part of my day at Children's Hospital with my 3 Littles. The Little Mr. was having some tests done, and it was not a fun day. They were outstanding kid-lets for all we had to endure, but it was not easy.
No part of going to Children's for anything is easy, good, fun or any other sort of positive you can think of.
Just going into the parking is stressing. The whole building complex is a giant maze of halls and elevators. There are signs, but they aren't always clear. You're always rushing and then waiting. The halls are usually crowded with other stressed out families who are rushing so they can wait.
Families don't make eye contact.
We all know that being in the halls of Children's means hard things. No one wants to see pain beyond what is lurking in their own kids.
Now, Children's is not a horror or anything like that at all. In fact, all the people we dealt with today were wonderful. They smiled. They held doors. They didn't laugh when we couldn't remember how to get back to the sky walk and our car. No one honked as we took our time wandering through the garage to the van. People offered stickers to our exhausted toddler. They made the tests as easy as possible for The Little Mr.
But still, it's Children's.
Something about it leaves a person exhausted and struggling to process through the whole experience. Bits and chunks come back at odd times, but you know their care is the best.
In the end, we got through it. The kids were outstanding. We celebrated with root beer floats and ice cream sundaes.
Back to The Missy Sissy. I truly don't know how she does it. I don't know if I could walk the halls as often as she does taking her littlest gem to his chemo. I tear up after half a day there with my "healthy" kids.
She's one amazing woman. An incredible mom. So, when you see my Missy Sissy, give her a pat on the back. She's got them coming.
Oh, yeah, and she's got God.
Who and what am I talking about?
Well, The Missy Sissy of course.
I spent a good part of my day at Children's Hospital with my 3 Littles. The Little Mr. was having some tests done, and it was not a fun day. They were outstanding kid-lets for all we had to endure, but it was not easy.
No part of going to Children's for anything is easy, good, fun or any other sort of positive you can think of.
Just going into the parking is stressing. The whole building complex is a giant maze of halls and elevators. There are signs, but they aren't always clear. You're always rushing and then waiting. The halls are usually crowded with other stressed out families who are rushing so they can wait.
Families don't make eye contact.
We all know that being in the halls of Children's means hard things. No one wants to see pain beyond what is lurking in their own kids.
Now, Children's is not a horror or anything like that at all. In fact, all the people we dealt with today were wonderful. They smiled. They held doors. They didn't laugh when we couldn't remember how to get back to the sky walk and our car. No one honked as we took our time wandering through the garage to the van. People offered stickers to our exhausted toddler. They made the tests as easy as possible for The Little Mr.
But still, it's Children's.
Something about it leaves a person exhausted and struggling to process through the whole experience. Bits and chunks come back at odd times, but you know their care is the best.
In the end, we got through it. The kids were outstanding. We celebrated with root beer floats and ice cream sundaes.
Back to The Missy Sissy. I truly don't know how she does it. I don't know if I could walk the halls as often as she does taking her littlest gem to his chemo. I tear up after half a day there with my "healthy" kids.
She's one amazing woman. An incredible mom. So, when you see my Missy Sissy, give her a pat on the back. She's got them coming.
Monday, August 25, 2008
It's officially the last week of summer and I'm well on my way to loosing my mind.
Just kidding.
I'm simply looking at my to-do lists and my want-to-do lists. They are both pretty long. It seems what I'm really going to have to do is make some priority assessments and then get myself moving a little faster. Somehow, summer always makes me move slower.
It's also the time of year to order up for school supplies. For us homeschoolers it means books. Lots of books! It's a job, a joy, and a stress all in one. It's a joy because who doesn't love new books! It's a job to sort out what you need from what you want.
The stress part? It's just a personality thing. I love to be able to get everything I want and get it all at once. It's hard for me to pare it down to what we really need and then harder still to realize that I don't need to buy it all at once. Spreading out the purchases over the school year will be just as good as getting one giant box from the big brown van.
Not much else going on around here, just gearing up for the big start of school. Along with regular school starting, we'll be starting choir and high school team again. Tons of fun, but life on the run.
I'm off to work on my lists and laundry. I'm trying to finish up the assignment sheets, lesson plans and copy making this week. At the least, I'd love to have the first few weeks ready to go!!
Just kidding.
I'm simply looking at my to-do lists and my want-to-do lists. They are both pretty long. It seems what I'm really going to have to do is make some priority assessments and then get myself moving a little faster. Somehow, summer always makes me move slower.
It's also the time of year to order up for school supplies. For us homeschoolers it means books. Lots of books! It's a job, a joy, and a stress all in one. It's a joy because who doesn't love new books! It's a job to sort out what you need from what you want.
The stress part? It's just a personality thing. I love to be able to get everything I want and get it all at once. It's hard for me to pare it down to what we really need and then harder still to realize that I don't need to buy it all at once. Spreading out the purchases over the school year will be just as good as getting one giant box from the big brown van.
Not much else going on around here, just gearing up for the big start of school. Along with regular school starting, we'll be starting choir and high school team again. Tons of fun, but life on the run.
I'm off to work on my lists and laundry. I'm trying to finish up the assignment sheets, lesson plans and copy making this week. At the least, I'd love to have the first few weeks ready to go!!
Friday, August 22, 2008
It's Been A Full Week
Monday the kids and I went to Madison to visit the grandparents, and swim in their pool! It was great fun. We also played on the play ground, blew bubbles, played games and ate pizza. By the end of the day everyone was tired and a little sun burnt. In a word, perfect.
Tuesday we started our hanging with the cousins week. In the morning we hung around the house and played. Then they went on home and we got ready for baby sitters and court. The case for Little Miss was up for a hearing, so The Mr. and I went. Interesting is all I can say. I'm learning a lot about our legal system.
Wednesday we had another morning of playing with cousins at our house. Then we packed up a picnic and went to the zoo for a few hours. We went to the monkey exhibit and saw the new baby. Then it was off to the fish and reptile house. We also got a good look at the penguins.
Thursday morning was same old, same old, more play time. Then we packed up another picnic and headed down town to the Betty Brinn Children's Museum. We took in the new Mr. Potato Head exhibit and the new bank exhibit. The museum was quite busy and the Potato Head exhibit was really large, but very fun. We rounded out our trip with sitting in traffic on the newly completed Marquette Interchange. The roads are wider and very smooth, but I was still sitting still in traffic, so I guess it was a half improvement.
Today we had more play time and then went to a dance recital and pizza party. One of my beautiful nieces was in the recital.
In between all this The Missy Sissy and I planned some school stuff. We matched up our calendars and traded some style tips. We agreed to being fellow encourager as we expect this to be a year of challenges for our families as we help Andrew get well.
This afternoon I've been creating planners and printing calendars. I've been thinking about books to order and forgotten school supplies. I'm thinking of extracurricular activities schedules and computer programs. I'm making a list of wishes and goals. I'm thinking about quarter end celebrations and a fun way to kick things off. There is a cluttered up, disorganized school area that needs to be thinned down and cleared out. There are lesson plans that need to be planned and written out and blank assignment sheets to be filled up. There are library lists to be made and books to request.
And after all that, there are still a few weeks of summer left to enjoy. So we're going to stretch those last days for all they're worth and try to suck in every last moment.
Tuesday we started our hanging with the cousins week. In the morning we hung around the house and played. Then they went on home and we got ready for baby sitters and court. The case for Little Miss was up for a hearing, so The Mr. and I went. Interesting is all I can say. I'm learning a lot about our legal system.
Wednesday we had another morning of playing with cousins at our house. Then we packed up a picnic and went to the zoo for a few hours. We went to the monkey exhibit and saw the new baby. Then it was off to the fish and reptile house. We also got a good look at the penguins.
Thursday morning was same old, same old, more play time. Then we packed up another picnic and headed down town to the Betty Brinn Children's Museum. We took in the new Mr. Potato Head exhibit and the new bank exhibit. The museum was quite busy and the Potato Head exhibit was really large, but very fun. We rounded out our trip with sitting in traffic on the newly completed Marquette Interchange. The roads are wider and very smooth, but I was still sitting still in traffic, so I guess it was a half improvement.
Today we had more play time and then went to a dance recital and pizza party. One of my beautiful nieces was in the recital.
In between all this The Missy Sissy and I planned some school stuff. We matched up our calendars and traded some style tips. We agreed to being fellow encourager as we expect this to be a year of challenges for our families as we help Andrew get well.
This afternoon I've been creating planners and printing calendars. I've been thinking about books to order and forgotten school supplies. I'm thinking of extracurricular activities schedules and computer programs. I'm making a list of wishes and goals. I'm thinking about quarter end celebrations and a fun way to kick things off. There is a cluttered up, disorganized school area that needs to be thinned down and cleared out. There are lesson plans that need to be planned and written out and blank assignment sheets to be filled up. There are library lists to be made and books to request.
And after all that, there are still a few weeks of summer left to enjoy. So we're going to stretch those last days for all they're worth and try to suck in every last moment.
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
Saturday, August 16, 2008
All The Good Things In Life
This is the season my friends of utter perfection in this state. They days are warm and sunny, with blue skies and white puffy clouds. The warm breezes are gentle and constant. The days are made for going to the beach, the park, the zoo or the back yard. BBQ's are in constant use and the night glows with stars and fireflies and fire pits.
There are smore's and ice cream sandwiches, watermelon and corn on the cob. Farmer's markets are bursting with color and flavor and choices. Just this morning I picked up corn, tomatoes, lettuce, zucchini, patty pan squash, eggplant, carrots, onions and potatoes. There was plenty I left behind.
Then there are the blessings of good friends. They are the ones that call and invite you over for no reason. They bless you with the abundance of their own hard work, sharing more tomatoes and Swiss chard. They light candles and pour wine. You sit under the moon light and talk until suddenly you realize it's midnight and time to go home.
It's the season of tomatoes with every meal, especially for breakfast. I love the pop of cherry tomatoes with eggs and toast. Call me crazy, but it's the taste of summer.
The nights are cool and perfect for sleep. We're in the season of leaving the windows up all the way both night and day. It's the scramble to get in all the last get togethers before school starts. Time to take the last day trips and squeeze in all that you can. It's the time to stretch the day as far as you can, neglecting decent bedtime hours for your kids and seeing them laze before the campfire.
On top of all this, we seem to have been blessed with a glorious return to health for our Little Mr's. For the last several years we have lived under extremely strict dietary restrictions. We basically never ate anything that came in a package, was a grain, starch or sugar. We didn't go out. We didn't do convience.
It was hard. Painful. They learned to live with it. They learned how to shake it off when the other kids asked or teased. They learned to look the other way at parties or family things when there were all sorts of forbidden foods. They learned to pout in private and share their tears with just The Mr. and I. We learned to have a spine, to be hard and unbending with the rules. The cost was just too high. Their long term health hung in the balance.
For myself, part of the struggle was the boredom in the kitchen. I love to cook. I love to be in my kitchen. One of the things I enjoy most is to create a meal. For years and years, I've read cookbooks just for the sheer joy of it. I read and re-read the ingredients, the methods, the process. I stare at the pictures. I stash them all over my house. But, when I cook, I don't use them. I almost never use an actual recipe. Even for something precise like baking, I only use the general measures, but I tweak to my liking.
The blessing is this, The Little Mr's appear to be healthy. For the first time in their lives, they are eating almost anything they want, with almost no side effects. They've finally gotten a chance to eat an ice cream, to drink a soda, to try chips. We've had some fun teaching them how to eat things like sandwiches or hot dogs in a bun. We're teaching them how to eat pizza and chew gum. They're starting to figure out what treats they like and don't like.
My summer has been blessed with the ease of Pb&j sandwiches, fruit, chips and maybe a dessert on a paper plate with a drink of juice boxes! For me, who has not even been able to purchase something as simple as lunch meat or processed cheese, this is amazing. Bread is a blessing. Being able to serve rice or potatoes with a meal makes me ridiculously happy.
So last night, we took it one step further. We revived a tradition from long before kids. We did our Friday night pasta night. As a family, we hung out and made our noodles. We made our sauce. I had a glass of wine. The boys ate their first homemade pasta with looks of pleasure and surprise on their faces.
Oh, what a night, what a glorious night. I'm loving this life of mine.
There are smore's and ice cream sandwiches, watermelon and corn on the cob. Farmer's markets are bursting with color and flavor and choices. Just this morning I picked up corn, tomatoes, lettuce, zucchini, patty pan squash, eggplant, carrots, onions and potatoes. There was plenty I left behind.
Then there are the blessings of good friends. They are the ones that call and invite you over for no reason. They bless you with the abundance of their own hard work, sharing more tomatoes and Swiss chard. They light candles and pour wine. You sit under the moon light and talk until suddenly you realize it's midnight and time to go home.
It's the season of tomatoes with every meal, especially for breakfast. I love the pop of cherry tomatoes with eggs and toast. Call me crazy, but it's the taste of summer.
The nights are cool and perfect for sleep. We're in the season of leaving the windows up all the way both night and day. It's the scramble to get in all the last get togethers before school starts. Time to take the last day trips and squeeze in all that you can. It's the time to stretch the day as far as you can, neglecting decent bedtime hours for your kids and seeing them laze before the campfire.
On top of all this, we seem to have been blessed with a glorious return to health for our Little Mr's. For the last several years we have lived under extremely strict dietary restrictions. We basically never ate anything that came in a package, was a grain, starch or sugar. We didn't go out. We didn't do convience.
It was hard. Painful. They learned to live with it. They learned how to shake it off when the other kids asked or teased. They learned to look the other way at parties or family things when there were all sorts of forbidden foods. They learned to pout in private and share their tears with just The Mr. and I. We learned to have a spine, to be hard and unbending with the rules. The cost was just too high. Their long term health hung in the balance.
For myself, part of the struggle was the boredom in the kitchen. I love to cook. I love to be in my kitchen. One of the things I enjoy most is to create a meal. For years and years, I've read cookbooks just for the sheer joy of it. I read and re-read the ingredients, the methods, the process. I stare at the pictures. I stash them all over my house. But, when I cook, I don't use them. I almost never use an actual recipe. Even for something precise like baking, I only use the general measures, but I tweak to my liking.
The blessing is this, The Little Mr's appear to be healthy. For the first time in their lives, they are eating almost anything they want, with almost no side effects. They've finally gotten a chance to eat an ice cream, to drink a soda, to try chips. We've had some fun teaching them how to eat things like sandwiches or hot dogs in a bun. We're teaching them how to eat pizza and chew gum. They're starting to figure out what treats they like and don't like.
My summer has been blessed with the ease of Pb&j sandwiches, fruit, chips and maybe a dessert on a paper plate with a drink of juice boxes! For me, who has not even been able to purchase something as simple as lunch meat or processed cheese, this is amazing. Bread is a blessing. Being able to serve rice or potatoes with a meal makes me ridiculously happy.
So last night, we took it one step further. We revived a tradition from long before kids. We did our Friday night pasta night. As a family, we hung out and made our noodles. We made our sauce. I had a glass of wine. The boys ate their first homemade pasta with looks of pleasure and surprise on their faces.
Oh, what a night, what a glorious night. I'm loving this life of mine.
Thursday, August 14, 2008
Back To School
Well, not really, not for us yet anyway, but everyone across the country is thinking about it right now, even if they don't have any kids "in the system." By the way, isn't that a funny, well, not really, but funny phrase to use when talking about kids in school? Kids in the system? Hmm, could be the legal system, could be foster care system, oh no, wait, I mean the educational system. Um, yeah, OK.
Just today I got an email asking my opinion on when would be a good time to do a homeschool program.
The longer I've thought about it, the answer is never.
Huh?
We're a fickle group, we homeschoolers. In a way, we're worse than regular schoolers, because we suffer from greed. We think we can have it all. It's sort of like the women from decades ago who believed that they could have full time careers and still be full time moms and full time wives without repercussions. Over the years, women have developed ways to balance all their desires and many women do successfully, "have it all" but as homeschoolers, we're not there yet.
For us homeschoolers though, this need to have it all ways, and often "be Christian" about it, leaves us paralyzed and doing nothing. There is no way to accommodate every one's wants and not hurt any one's feelings or step on any one's toes. We're a group of women who are all in mama bear mode all the time.
We really don't need to be so defensive with each other, but it seems that for the first decade or so of homeschool you are always insecure. You are always doubting that you're doing enough, that the kids are retaining enough, that your making good choices. Wait, that's not it at all, it's are you making great choices, perfect choices.
For years now, it's been heaped on us homeschoolers our burden of guilt. We pass it on to our fellow parent-teachers and our children-students. The big They, who ever that is, has been telling us over and over that each one of us needs to be setting a good example, because They're watching. Who is this They anyway and why are we so afraid of them? We've been told over and over all the "rules". Don't go do errands during the school day. Don't answer the door. Don't ever talk to a social worker. Don't play outside, even in your own yard, during the school hours. Never mind that regular schoolers have recess.
Still not understanding? it's OK, I've been at this homeschool thing for years now, and I'm just starting to sort out the things I've always felt in the back of my mind, but not really understood.
As teachers we want to grow students that we can be proud of. As parents we want to be raising kids who will follow our values and be a success in society. As homeschool moms we want to validate our choices. As Christians we want to prove that this is a part of our calling. On top of all that, we want to protect our kids.
I think that what happens too often is that we try so hard to meet all these different things to the extreme, that we end up in trouble. We focus too much on the book learning and produce smart but flat people. We focus to much on our missions and then raise extremists. We focus on fears and isolate ourselves or over involve ourselves. Our pendulum is swinging, but we haven't found the middle yet.
The question posed to me was when should we hold this once a month, 2 hour activity, so that the most families could attend or participate.
Could we do it in the morning on a weekday?
No, definitely not on a Monday, as all the serious schoolers are trying their best to get their school week off on the right foot. The rest of the mornings are for the youngest of the kids to be napping while their siblings do their core studies.
OK, so how about the afternoon?
No, won't work. See the afternoon is for the enrichment type classes, lessons and sports. It's also the time for naps for siblings.
Well, how about the evenings?
No, never!! Picture with me for a second, all the prim moms getting their hackles up because we've even suggested invading the precious dinner hour and after dinner family time.
Weekends?
No way! The weekend is for sports, family and religion.
Yup, that's the way it is. At least, that's the way it often seems to me. We really want it all. We really seem to think we can have it all.
This doesn't even touch that we want our books and supplies to be cheap. Really cheap. We want all our local places to provide special homeschool sessions, classes or lessons. We want discounts, extra grace for when we have other things to do, or when our kids get sick. We want some special treatment for our kids because of a long list of excuses which sometimes translates to, our kids just aren't that used to taking instructions from someone who isn't mom, or getting along with kids who aren't our sibs. We want to use public meeting facilities for free or reduced rates. We get cranky when a place does offer a special homeschool class or session for a year or two and then cancels it for lack of participation. Remember what I just said about when is a good time to schedule a homeschool program?
Now, of course, this isn't everyone. Homeschoolers are a really large and diverse group. No two really look alike, even those who all dress in denim jumpers with all their daughters in matching dresses walking along behind them in a single file line...um, yeah, well, our group isn't immune to stereotypes or clicks either.
The difference seems to be, though, that regular schoolers, expect that school and all it's related activities will interfere with life. They work around it. They just plain deal with it. Those moms who have kids in school and babes at home figure out a way to deal with the kindergarten kid whose school day ends in the middle of nap time. The regular schoolers figure out how to juggle the afterschool program for reading with the dinner hour. The working parents figure out how to be the field trip parent. The busy nursing mom finds a way to be the room mom too.
We homeschoolers need to suck it up a bit. We need to stop being afraid of our fellow homeschoolers, afraid of our mistakes, afraid of ourselves. We need to stop jumping and screaming every time we see our shadow. We don't really have all that much to be afraid of.
Ourselves or even the regular schoolers.
In the end, we're all wanting the same thing.
We want the best for our kids and each one of us is unique. Each family has it's own style and we each need to be true to our families.
So as back to school looms like a late August thunderstorm in the sky, just rest in your choice. Do your best and be your best.
Just today I got an email asking my opinion on when would be a good time to do a homeschool program.
The longer I've thought about it, the answer is never.
Huh?
We're a fickle group, we homeschoolers. In a way, we're worse than regular schoolers, because we suffer from greed. We think we can have it all. It's sort of like the women from decades ago who believed that they could have full time careers and still be full time moms and full time wives without repercussions. Over the years, women have developed ways to balance all their desires and many women do successfully, "have it all" but as homeschoolers, we're not there yet.
For us homeschoolers though, this need to have it all ways, and often "be Christian" about it, leaves us paralyzed and doing nothing. There is no way to accommodate every one's wants and not hurt any one's feelings or step on any one's toes. We're a group of women who are all in mama bear mode all the time.
We really don't need to be so defensive with each other, but it seems that for the first decade or so of homeschool you are always insecure. You are always doubting that you're doing enough, that the kids are retaining enough, that your making good choices. Wait, that's not it at all, it's are you making great choices, perfect choices.
For years now, it's been heaped on us homeschoolers our burden of guilt. We pass it on to our fellow parent-teachers and our children-students. The big They, who ever that is, has been telling us over and over that each one of us needs to be setting a good example, because They're watching. Who is this They anyway and why are we so afraid of them? We've been told over and over all the "rules". Don't go do errands during the school day. Don't answer the door. Don't ever talk to a social worker. Don't play outside, even in your own yard, during the school hours. Never mind that regular schoolers have recess.
Still not understanding? it's OK, I've been at this homeschool thing for years now, and I'm just starting to sort out the things I've always felt in the back of my mind, but not really understood.
As teachers we want to grow students that we can be proud of. As parents we want to be raising kids who will follow our values and be a success in society. As homeschool moms we want to validate our choices. As Christians we want to prove that this is a part of our calling. On top of all that, we want to protect our kids.
I think that what happens too often is that we try so hard to meet all these different things to the extreme, that we end up in trouble. We focus too much on the book learning and produce smart but flat people. We focus to much on our missions and then raise extremists. We focus on fears and isolate ourselves or over involve ourselves. Our pendulum is swinging, but we haven't found the middle yet.
The question posed to me was when should we hold this once a month, 2 hour activity, so that the most families could attend or participate.
Could we do it in the morning on a weekday?
No, definitely not on a Monday, as all the serious schoolers are trying their best to get their school week off on the right foot. The rest of the mornings are for the youngest of the kids to be napping while their siblings do their core studies.
OK, so how about the afternoon?
No, won't work. See the afternoon is for the enrichment type classes, lessons and sports. It's also the time for naps for siblings.
Well, how about the evenings?
No, never!! Picture with me for a second, all the prim moms getting their hackles up because we've even suggested invading the precious dinner hour and after dinner family time.
Weekends?
No way! The weekend is for sports, family and religion.
Yup, that's the way it is. At least, that's the way it often seems to me. We really want it all. We really seem to think we can have it all.
This doesn't even touch that we want our books and supplies to be cheap. Really cheap. We want all our local places to provide special homeschool sessions, classes or lessons. We want discounts, extra grace for when we have other things to do, or when our kids get sick. We want some special treatment for our kids because of a long list of excuses which sometimes translates to, our kids just aren't that used to taking instructions from someone who isn't mom, or getting along with kids who aren't our sibs. We want to use public meeting facilities for free or reduced rates. We get cranky when a place does offer a special homeschool class or session for a year or two and then cancels it for lack of participation. Remember what I just said about when is a good time to schedule a homeschool program?
Now, of course, this isn't everyone. Homeschoolers are a really large and diverse group. No two really look alike, even those who all dress in denim jumpers with all their daughters in matching dresses walking along behind them in a single file line...um, yeah, well, our group isn't immune to stereotypes or clicks either.
The difference seems to be, though, that regular schoolers, expect that school and all it's related activities will interfere with life. They work around it. They just plain deal with it. Those moms who have kids in school and babes at home figure out a way to deal with the kindergarten kid whose school day ends in the middle of nap time. The regular schoolers figure out how to juggle the afterschool program for reading with the dinner hour. The working parents figure out how to be the field trip parent. The busy nursing mom finds a way to be the room mom too.
We homeschoolers need to suck it up a bit. We need to stop being afraid of our fellow homeschoolers, afraid of our mistakes, afraid of ourselves. We need to stop jumping and screaming every time we see our shadow. We don't really have all that much to be afraid of.
Ourselves or even the regular schoolers.
In the end, we're all wanting the same thing.
We want the best for our kids and each one of us is unique. Each family has it's own style and we each need to be true to our families.
So as back to school looms like a late August thunderstorm in the sky, just rest in your choice. Do your best and be your best.
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
Visits
Today is the start of a whole new brand of madness. The large--and I truly mean large--group of people involved in Little Miss's case start coming over.
They all have different reasons for their visits, but essentially, it's all the same. They're checking to see if we're "fit" parents or a "safe" family. Each person has their own set of forms and questions and finds their own way to walk through the house and check it out, but you can rest assured, it's all the same thing.
Somehow, this all has a different weight to it.
Long, long ago, when The Mr. and I thought about having kids, it was different. It was a big decision, but it still was something we went into all love and kisses and fantasy. We just sort of thought well, you're a couple, you're married, then you have kids. It's just what you do, everyone does it. What ever. I know, sounds genius doesn't it?
But it's hard to really explain, what makes a couple decide to have kids.
Our journey, wasn't so simple of course. Our first pregnancy didn't go as planned at all. Our second brought us The Little Mr. Far and away one of the most difficult and challenging children on the planet, complete with never ending medical issues. Somehow after a few years we had amnesia and got pregnant a third time. The Littlest Mr. was like a reward, a delightful and easy baby. His pleasant tendency has continued to this day.
Once again, we seem to have lost our minds, well, not really, it was truly that we answered yes when God asked, and we became foster parents. Slightly cocky after our own very challenging kids, we thought we could handle a lot. Foster kids are tough in their own way and so we grew again.
When we entered the foster care system, we were very clear, our motive was to see families put back together. We were helpers, just sort of waiting out the time it took to see a family get back on it's feet. We would only adopt if it was the "right kid at the right time" and that God confirmed it.
Well, as life has gone on this past year and a half with Little Miss, we've had to look at it a little more. She is the right kid at the right time. No doubt about it. God seems to be confirming it too.
But this is an interesting thing, in my mind, the choice to adopt is far harder to make than the choice to get pregnant.
Surprised? Yeah, so am I.
Perhaps, it is just adopting out of foster care.
See, when we decided to go ahead and make babies, no one said or did anything. Now that I'm considering adopting, and adopting out of foster care, there are people coming out of the woodwork to see if I am in fact, qualified.
Um, hello? Already a mom? Already have some kids?
Anyway.
I think the hard part on my side, comes even less from the state people and all their tests. I think it comes from recognizing the unspoken. By adopting this child out of foster care, I'm holding myself up, holding myself out there and saying, yes, in fact, I am a better parent than you, or at least a better parent than this child's birth parents.
That's a pretty high pedestal.
I'm pretty sure I don't really want to stand on it.
I'm not so sure I am a better parent and to have people thinking I might be, well, as my teen friends would say, whoa, awkward!
I think that successful parenting comes down to just a few things. One of them is being there. Being a good mom or dad requires showing up.
It's that simple. Show up.
The next part is saying you're sorry. It doesn't matter how well trained you are or how Christian or how self-controlled or how many parenting books you've read or whatever, out of good intentions, out of love, out of exhaustion or just plain out of being human, you're going to make mistakes as a parent.
The difference is saying you're sorry. Mistakes happen by accident, apology happens on purpose.
The next part is to be always learning and growing. There is no room in parenting to be stagnant.
All in all, I'm no mom to be putting on a pedestal and I'm not going anywhere near any ladders to climb up. I'm not better than any other parent out there.
But, I said yes to God.
I show up.
I say I'm sorry and I really, really mean it when I say it.
And I learn.
And learn.
And learn.
They all have different reasons for their visits, but essentially, it's all the same. They're checking to see if we're "fit" parents or a "safe" family. Each person has their own set of forms and questions and finds their own way to walk through the house and check it out, but you can rest assured, it's all the same thing.
Somehow, this all has a different weight to it.
Long, long ago, when The Mr. and I thought about having kids, it was different. It was a big decision, but it still was something we went into all love and kisses and fantasy. We just sort of thought well, you're a couple, you're married, then you have kids. It's just what you do, everyone does it. What ever. I know, sounds genius doesn't it?
But it's hard to really explain, what makes a couple decide to have kids.
Our journey, wasn't so simple of course. Our first pregnancy didn't go as planned at all. Our second brought us The Little Mr. Far and away one of the most difficult and challenging children on the planet, complete with never ending medical issues. Somehow after a few years we had amnesia and got pregnant a third time. The Littlest Mr. was like a reward, a delightful and easy baby. His pleasant tendency has continued to this day.
Once again, we seem to have lost our minds, well, not really, it was truly that we answered yes when God asked, and we became foster parents. Slightly cocky after our own very challenging kids, we thought we could handle a lot. Foster kids are tough in their own way and so we grew again.
When we entered the foster care system, we were very clear, our motive was to see families put back together. We were helpers, just sort of waiting out the time it took to see a family get back on it's feet. We would only adopt if it was the "right kid at the right time" and that God confirmed it.
Well, as life has gone on this past year and a half with Little Miss, we've had to look at it a little more. She is the right kid at the right time. No doubt about it. God seems to be confirming it too.
But this is an interesting thing, in my mind, the choice to adopt is far harder to make than the choice to get pregnant.
Surprised? Yeah, so am I.
Perhaps, it is just adopting out of foster care.
See, when we decided to go ahead and make babies, no one said or did anything. Now that I'm considering adopting, and adopting out of foster care, there are people coming out of the woodwork to see if I am in fact, qualified.
Um, hello? Already a mom? Already have some kids?
Anyway.
I think the hard part on my side, comes even less from the state people and all their tests. I think it comes from recognizing the unspoken. By adopting this child out of foster care, I'm holding myself up, holding myself out there and saying, yes, in fact, I am a better parent than you, or at least a better parent than this child's birth parents.
That's a pretty high pedestal.
I'm pretty sure I don't really want to stand on it.
I'm not so sure I am a better parent and to have people thinking I might be, well, as my teen friends would say, whoa, awkward!
I think that successful parenting comes down to just a few things. One of them is being there. Being a good mom or dad requires showing up.
It's that simple. Show up.
The next part is saying you're sorry. It doesn't matter how well trained you are or how Christian or how self-controlled or how many parenting books you've read or whatever, out of good intentions, out of love, out of exhaustion or just plain out of being human, you're going to make mistakes as a parent.
The difference is saying you're sorry. Mistakes happen by accident, apology happens on purpose.
The next part is to be always learning and growing. There is no room in parenting to be stagnant.
All in all, I'm no mom to be putting on a pedestal and I'm not going anywhere near any ladders to climb up. I'm not better than any other parent out there.
But, I said yes to God.
I show up.
I say I'm sorry and I really, really mean it when I say it.
And I learn.
And learn.
And learn.
Monday, August 11, 2008
Monday Madness
Well, I thought we'd be enjoying a blank Monday, you know, nothing on the schedule, but it turns out, it's a little too much free time.
My kids are at loose ends and not fitting in, again.
We are all still just too tired for our own good.
We're all whine and tears today.
On the other hand, we watched a movie together this morning and had a pretty good time. I'm almost to the end of the laundry. The top of the first blanket--yes from months and months ago--is done. I climbed up and washed off the light and fan. Yuckky!! I de-junked a big pile of, well, junk, in my room and let the kids have craft time for a few hours this morning. I didn't even get cranky when they said things like we used up all the tape and dumped all the google eyes on the floor.
I'm still finding eye balls on the floor, but it's all good.
We had a lesson in saying sorry to big people too. Seems that it isn't just my house where it isn't ok to ring the door-bell 18 times just because it wasn't answered in the first minute. My boys needed to call up and say sorry for doorbell ringing and baby waking.
So, overall, not a bad Monday.
Back to the laundry.
My kids are at loose ends and not fitting in, again.
We are all still just too tired for our own good.
We're all whine and tears today.
On the other hand, we watched a movie together this morning and had a pretty good time. I'm almost to the end of the laundry. The top of the first blanket--yes from months and months ago--is done. I climbed up and washed off the light and fan. Yuckky!! I de-junked a big pile of, well, junk, in my room and let the kids have craft time for a few hours this morning. I didn't even get cranky when they said things like we used up all the tape and dumped all the google eyes on the floor.
I'm still finding eye balls on the floor, but it's all good.
We had a lesson in saying sorry to big people too. Seems that it isn't just my house where it isn't ok to ring the door-bell 18 times just because it wasn't answered in the first minute. My boys needed to call up and say sorry for doorbell ringing and baby waking.
So, overall, not a bad Monday.
Back to the laundry.
Saturday, August 9, 2008
Friday, August 8, 2008
Bonus Point
I'm going to pat myself on the back now and say that I've earned at least one bonus point.
Today I took 6 kids to the beach. Alone.
3 boys, 3 girls.
Lots of sand.
Now, I'm doing the laundry--or paying the price.
6 kids at the beach also means 6 wet suits, 8 wet beach towels, then another round of wet towels when we all get showered. It was a lake, after all.
I think it completely justifies serving left-overs for dinner!
Today I took 6 kids to the beach. Alone.
3 boys, 3 girls.
Lots of sand.
Now, I'm doing the laundry--or paying the price.
6 kids at the beach also means 6 wet suits, 8 wet beach towels, then another round of wet towels when we all get showered. It was a lake, after all.
I think it completely justifies serving left-overs for dinner!
Thursday, August 7, 2008
Got The Call
Well, I'm back on duty. I've got six kiddos hanging with me right now. We had a very fun afternoon at the park. Now we're just relaxing until the big BBQ.
Soon enough the group of men will return from their first day at the Willow Creek Leadership Summit Conference. Always an outstanding experience for them.
When they get here, they'll be deep in conversation that will continue well into the night. In between I'll offer up dinner and keep the kids out of their hair.
Meanwhile, pray for Andrew to heal according to God's will, and for the rest of us to respect whatever God's will is.
Soon enough the group of men will return from their first day at the Willow Creek Leadership Summit Conference. Always an outstanding experience for them.
When they get here, they'll be deep in conversation that will continue well into the night. In between I'll offer up dinner and keep the kids out of their hair.
Meanwhile, pray for Andrew to heal according to God's will, and for the rest of us to respect whatever God's will is.
Almost Speechless
Well, not quite. I've rarely been one to be at a loss for words.
I'm just feeling humbled today.
Humbled to be under the grace of God.
Honored to be living a kingdom life and have a kingdom house that I can be so wondrously just pouring out without the normal worry level.
It's all good.
I'm just feeling humbled today.
Humbled to be under the grace of God.
Honored to be living a kingdom life and have a kingdom house that I can be so wondrously just pouring out without the normal worry level.
It's all good.
Wednesday, August 6, 2008
The New Normal
I am constantly surprised that normal changes.
Every little while I get sort of settled and think, OK, this is it. This is the new normal. I'll get in the grove, adjust, enjoy it a little and go with it.
Well, it seems my new normal is upon me yet again.
God is calling me to be more flexible than I like, more fluid than I've been before.
All because of a beautiful blonde boy.
I think I'm just beginning to see the picture of what the next years will look like as a satilite to my nephew's family. I am starting to see the uncertain whirlwind that is cancer in a child.
Just when you think he's doing well, there's a turn. There's a glitch and no one can find the cog that isn't meshing. There is worry and stress and prayer. All plans are tossed to the winds.
The new plan becomes to love my family harder. The plan becomes to be the home away from home for my nieces and nephews, my sister-in-law and her husband. We're the respite from the hospital hallways. We're the open arms, frequent prayers and full fridge. We're clean laundry, a blanket and a pillow.
This is a blessed spot to be in, in spite of itself.
So for Andrew, I'll grow willingly. I'll learn to be less selfish about my space, my time, my plans. I'll learn even more how to let go and belong to God.
Every little while I get sort of settled and think, OK, this is it. This is the new normal. I'll get in the grove, adjust, enjoy it a little and go with it.
Well, it seems my new normal is upon me yet again.
God is calling me to be more flexible than I like, more fluid than I've been before.
All because of a beautiful blonde boy.
I think I'm just beginning to see the picture of what the next years will look like as a satilite to my nephew's family. I am starting to see the uncertain whirlwind that is cancer in a child.
Just when you think he's doing well, there's a turn. There's a glitch and no one can find the cog that isn't meshing. There is worry and stress and prayer. All plans are tossed to the winds.
The new plan becomes to love my family harder. The plan becomes to be the home away from home for my nieces and nephews, my sister-in-law and her husband. We're the respite from the hospital hallways. We're the open arms, frequent prayers and full fridge. We're clean laundry, a blanket and a pillow.
This is a blessed spot to be in, in spite of itself.
So for Andrew, I'll grow willingly. I'll learn to be less selfish about my space, my time, my plans. I'll learn even more how to let go and belong to God.
Tuesday, August 5, 2008
Change The Plans
**************UPDATE**************
God is good, of course. Andrew is well enough to go home, so the kids can all stay at their home.
Amen & Amen.
***********************************
Just when you think you're making a plan...then along comes God and tosses your calendar.
So it seems that little Andrew may be heading back to Children's for a bit, and I'll be taking another turn at momma to 7.
Prayers always welcome!
God is good, of course. Andrew is well enough to go home, so the kids can all stay at their home.
Amen & Amen.
***********************************
Just when you think you're making a plan...then along comes God and tosses your calendar.
So it seems that little Andrew may be heading back to Children's for a bit, and I'll be taking another turn at momma to 7.
Prayers always welcome!
Monday, August 4, 2008
And God Said...
Sunday sermons are usually things that tweak my brain or pull my heart in a new direction. They are often things that give me something to think through for a while, but this week was a treat.
We had a guest pastor. That can be a true hit or miss sort of thing, but he was a hit. The pastor was quite captivating in his speaking and the message was a three part deal for me.
The first part of the sermon focused on comfort. The idea was that we all want to lead a life that is extraordinary and the path to that life, is not comfortable. Discomfort in service to others is the path to a real life. A certain degree of discomfort is a confirmation that you are on the right track.
OK, so that sums up the last year or two of my life.
Just about everything has been out of my comfort zone these days. All the things from foster parenting to home school to just regular life. I've had so many situations where I think this is just so far beyond me and yet I was able to go ahead and do the task or have the conversations in spite of myself. I was able to do things I didn't think I was able to do. I had the conversations even though I was sure I was making a fool out of myself.
It all rang true when I was thinking of it in terms of when you serve them, you serve Him.
It's just that simple.
The next bit of the sermon was a parenting tip. It wasn't meant that way at all, but it applies to my life in that way.
God doesn't run around saying to us do this or else, he is instead before us with open heart saying I really want you to want to do this so that I can give you even more. If God treats me that way, shouldn't I treat my kids the same way?
The final bit was just plain hope. The message was what I've believed for the last decade of my life, "someday, this will all have been worth it".
And so it goes, my friends, so it goes.
Live life in a way that you know in your heart, one day this will all have been worth it.
We had a guest pastor. That can be a true hit or miss sort of thing, but he was a hit. The pastor was quite captivating in his speaking and the message was a three part deal for me.
The first part of the sermon focused on comfort. The idea was that we all want to lead a life that is extraordinary and the path to that life, is not comfortable. Discomfort in service to others is the path to a real life. A certain degree of discomfort is a confirmation that you are on the right track.
OK, so that sums up the last year or two of my life.
Just about everything has been out of my comfort zone these days. All the things from foster parenting to home school to just regular life. I've had so many situations where I think this is just so far beyond me and yet I was able to go ahead and do the task or have the conversations in spite of myself. I was able to do things I didn't think I was able to do. I had the conversations even though I was sure I was making a fool out of myself.
It all rang true when I was thinking of it in terms of when you serve them, you serve Him.
It's just that simple.
The next bit of the sermon was a parenting tip. It wasn't meant that way at all, but it applies to my life in that way.
God doesn't run around saying to us do this or else, he is instead before us with open heart saying I really want you to want to do this so that I can give you even more. If God treats me that way, shouldn't I treat my kids the same way?
The final bit was just plain hope. The message was what I've believed for the last decade of my life, "someday, this will all have been worth it".
And so it goes, my friends, so it goes.
Live life in a way that you know in your heart, one day this will all have been worth it.
Where Were We
As shocking as it is, a few days have gone by with my putting finger to keyboard.
Yeah, I get tremmors, just like detox withdrawl. OK, I'm kidding, it's not quite that bad, but it is a sort of uneasy glitch in my world to have a few days without writing anything. Anything. That's just the way it was though. Even when I had a moment, I just couldn't get myself to the words.
The gap was busy. Duh. I say that daily around here. Well, it was busy. My life generally is.
I ran like a mad woman and got all sorts of things together and then, well, it's life with birth parents. Nothing happened.
So it's a new day, a new week, and I'm back to wondering. Will Little Miss have an easy or hard week? What will happen today.
In between we had all sorts of life happening.
The boys finished their week of Tae Kwon Do camp. They loved everything about it and haven't stopped talking about it. They already have great expectations for next summer. No way to be anything but happy about that.
Baseball is over for The Littlest Mr., and he declared it a great success. He said it was way cooler than last summer and wants to do it again. Of course, he also wants to play soccer, football, swim and try on just about every other sport known to man.
And, it's August. That doesn't change much, except that there is a tiny shift in my thinking. Somewhere at the back of my brain, I realize that the next learning season is looming over my shoulder. I start to think about what I want the next season to look like, to feel like. I ponder goals and tasks and books and programs.
It will be a few weeks yet before I really put in the few days it takes to peg it all down, but it just tingles the back of the mind.
The dog is well on the road to recovery. She has had her 85,000 mile check up and then some. One of the perks of considering adoption, or not, is that everyone--pets included--needs to be up to date on all things medical. All I know is that she really likes her peanut butter pain killer pill sandwiches.
The construction next door continues. At least with the rain today, we have a temporary halt. They are completely redoing their yard with lots and lots of retaining walls. In the end, I think it will be beautiful, but right now, it's loud and dusty. There are rocks everywhere and trucks and orange cones and guys.
So that's the rambling update of the last few days.
Yeah, I get tremmors, just like detox withdrawl. OK, I'm kidding, it's not quite that bad, but it is a sort of uneasy glitch in my world to have a few days without writing anything. Anything. That's just the way it was though. Even when I had a moment, I just couldn't get myself to the words.
The gap was busy. Duh. I say that daily around here. Well, it was busy. My life generally is.
I ran like a mad woman and got all sorts of things together and then, well, it's life with birth parents. Nothing happened.
So it's a new day, a new week, and I'm back to wondering. Will Little Miss have an easy or hard week? What will happen today.
In between we had all sorts of life happening.
The boys finished their week of Tae Kwon Do camp. They loved everything about it and haven't stopped talking about it. They already have great expectations for next summer. No way to be anything but happy about that.
Baseball is over for The Littlest Mr., and he declared it a great success. He said it was way cooler than last summer and wants to do it again. Of course, he also wants to play soccer, football, swim and try on just about every other sport known to man.
And, it's August. That doesn't change much, except that there is a tiny shift in my thinking. Somewhere at the back of my brain, I realize that the next learning season is looming over my shoulder. I start to think about what I want the next season to look like, to feel like. I ponder goals and tasks and books and programs.
It will be a few weeks yet before I really put in the few days it takes to peg it all down, but it just tingles the back of the mind.
The dog is well on the road to recovery. She has had her 85,000 mile check up and then some. One of the perks of considering adoption, or not, is that everyone--pets included--needs to be up to date on all things medical. All I know is that she really likes her peanut butter pain killer pill sandwiches.
The construction next door continues. At least with the rain today, we have a temporary halt. They are completely redoing their yard with lots and lots of retaining walls. In the end, I think it will be beautiful, but right now, it's loud and dusty. There are rocks everywhere and trucks and orange cones and guys.
So that's the rambling update of the last few days.
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