Friday, March 20, 2009

Guess What?

This is post number 500! I guess I knew I was wordy and chatty and all that, but I didn't realize I was quite THAT wordy!

I had been thinking about this post, knowing it was around the corner and trying to think up all kinds of cute ideas, but it never got there.

Somehow, life happened.

I know, shocking around here.

Today, I'm simply really happy to be home, even if my kids are all wonky and out of sorts.

It's been a long week. I'm tired and wonky and out of sorts.

We started out with The Mr. having a training day last Saturday, then leaving on a business trip on Sunday. Talk about throwing off your sense of what day it is. Monday was sort of regular except we had giddy kids because grandma was coming. Tuesday was a crack of dawn appointment at Children's for Little One. Wednesday was pack him and myself up and check in.

Thus beginning my time in the black hole that is Children's Hospital. On one hand it's an amazing place and has lots of fantastic people. The nurses and other help staff are generally patient, helpful, friendly and generous. On the other hand, that place can suck the life out of you. Depending on where you are in the building it can be dark, hot, cold, dry and inconvenient. Sometimes it is a long way to find a rest room, a place that a cell phone connects or even a vending machine. And lets not talk about the prices in those vending machines. Add in the never ending construction at Children's and it can be a lot to take.

Little One came through all his different things just fine and had the added benefit of his birth mom to boot. She was able to be there both before and after his surgery, so that was really great for him. Two mama's to hug and hold him.

I had the opportunity to put my foster parent training to the test. It was a long, intense 7-8 hours of shared parenting.

Thankfully for me, we live close to Children's and so even though I missed all the food hours at the deli, the cafeteria and room service, The Mr. and both Little Mr.'s were able to come by and deliver dinner.

I wish I could say we had a great night on 5 West, but not so. Our floor was pretty full and we didn't have the only baby who wasn't feeling great. The night was filled with the sounds of little ones whose pain medications had worn off.

In the morning I did have one marvelous nurse who found me a cup of coffee to get me through until Little One was settled down for a nap. As soon as he was out, I was too. Out to the sky walk that is for a sandwich, a mocha, some incredibly unhealthy dessert, plus junk food for later, knowing that I'd be stuck in the room the rest of the day.

Little One did real well though and I was home by 5.

The next thing I'm really, really thankful for is home delivery of medical supplies and visiting nurses. They rock and often save the day for me.

Even though Children's gives you training before you go home about what to do and how to do it, somehow when you unpack all the supplies you realize there are things you don't know how to do, like which way do the tubes go through that feeding pump anyway? You suddenly realize the blessing of visiting nurses when you start trying to clean up the incisions and put on the new dressings yet still keeping the port set up just right for good healing.

I also realize just how riotously unqualified I am to be doing these things. I'm a plain old foster mom. I only have medical experience because I've been in situations where I've been forced to learn it on the fly, simply because I'm the mom and a mom does whatever it takes for her kids, birth or not. I'm pretty sure I'm not cut out for the medical stuff. It's icky. It makes me queasy. I worry a lot. I'm never sure I'm doing it just right. There is no amount of training in this world that could make me feel confident in this stuff.

But, I also know that there just plain isn't anyone else to do it. Little One has no one else who is willing or able to even try, so try I will and most likely fail and learn the right ways by doing it wrong first. Mistakes are great teachers. Ask me about my stomach fluid bath on Thursday...I won't forget clamps again, you can bet. I'm going to count on God being my right hand, I'll believe that patience and wisdom will be provided. I'll believe that He planned for this inadequate human mom to be in this place with this tiny little one. I know that He's looking over this Little One way better than I or any doctors can.

So I think my 500 is really just a reminder that we all have a job to do, God expects us to do it and we can count on Him to fill in the gaps where we are human.

2 comments:

Karies place said...

Hurrah!!!!! And you are doing a fabulous job!

Shelley said...

It encourages and challenges me to see you recognize your place in all this - obedience and service and still see God's hand in the big picture. Good job keeping perspective!

And I am glad it all went well!