Wednesday, April 29, 2009

It's been a few days and I think I've digested things.

Only Wednesday morning, and already a really full week.

Monday we went to court for Little Miss. This time The Mr. and I both had to testify. In a way it's an easy thing to do, simply swear to tell the truth and then do it, but in a way it's the hardest thing in the world. You sit directly in front of the birth parents and answer some really hard questions.

Even though we weren't the people passing judgement on the fit-ness of their ability to parent, it still sort of felt that way. Sometimes the truth is ugly.

We are not in the clear to adopt yet, but we are much closer than we were even 6 weeks ago. Again, it's one of those double edge things.

It's a thrill to think that it may really happen one day, and one day soon. It's a hefty responsibility to think we're going to hold ourselves out there as better parents and being capable and able to care for her for the rest of her life and ours.

It's also pretty humbling to look at her first family and see how quickly it all came apart. Sometimes good intentions just aren't enough.

Could you imagine if Christ came to earth with just good intentions and never followed through? It'd be each one of us hanging on that cross taking the full weight of our sins.

Yesterday I had a sick kiddo home from school. Not so fun.

We had a great Home Team, as usual. Our teens are just fantastic. They challenge and bless us every week.

Today is early release from school and the first of the new visitations for Little One.

Visitations are always a challenge for me. I get attached. That mama thing kicks in and I worry, not a lot, but still, I worry. I worry that the kiddo will be okay at his visit. I worry he'll be safe on the transports, that he'll be fed properly, that he'll be comforted when he cries and changed when he's wet. Yeah, it's a different land. Usually you only worry about that stuff when you hire the first inexperienced teen babysitter, not when you see a child with his parents, but this, my friends is foster care, and it's all different. On the other hand, it's a sort of break, a breather from a demanding child. A special time with just girl friend.

And so that's how it goes around here. Lots of things that are both wonderful and awful at the same time, but that's how life is right? We wouldn't have the joy of a risen Savior if He'd never died.

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