Let Me Tell You A Secret

I try to be a little bit of a transparent blogger. I do. Really. I know a lot of you who know me well, say my written me is much different than the spoken me, but we are one and the same. I put out here as much "reality" as I feel is fair to the family and myself. I am a lot more bare on the other blogs, but I'll get to that in a minute.

Some of you, closest to me in real life, know I've harbored a day dream for most of my life and I'm fast reaching that time in life when I know I need to do something about it. I do not want to get too much older and begin looking back at my life and wonder what if. I don't. Even if I "fail" it won't be a what if.

As a result of this crazy dream chasing mentality and this 'bare blogging' I'm going to share with you some secrets.

There has been a class that I've been wanting to take for about 2 years now. I have resisted for any number of reasons, not the least of which was the money to take the class and the time. It will require 12-18 months of my time. Let's face it. That's a long time in this life of mine. But, I am registered now.

So why am I telling you about it? Well, it's a bit of accountability and a bit of self-serving curiosity. First if I tell you I'm doing it, then I've said it out loud, told the world so to speak and have to follow it through to the end. I can't quit. I'm not much of a quitter any more these days anyway, but every one's past always comes back unexpectedly to bite them in the butt and quitter is a part of my past. I'd rather keep my butt bite free thank you very much.

I'm also telling you because of a conversation I had with one of my friends. We talked briefly about my blogs and she asked me how it was that I was able to write such revealing things. It made me think it through.

Honestly, I am able to write "naked" without boundaries or masks on the other blogs simply because I choose to believe that no one reads them. I believe that I write there simply for myself. When you put idea, feeling or thought to print believing that you have a certain audience, you edit, you sculpt, you tell it all differently, with a certain slant and flair. When you believe you alone are the sole reader, you write for yourself. It's pure.

So as the months go bye, I don't know what you will see. Perhaps there will be more of me here, perhaps less. Maybe it will look, sound and feel different, maybe it will stay exactly the same. Perhaps I will finish the course and find out I didn't have what it takes and my day dream was simply a dream born of fluffy summer sun clouds and high school wishes. Perhaps I will finish with surprising results. Perhaps I will land right where I am at today.

My hope is simply to conquer some of the what if's that linger in my life.

Come along for the ride if you like.

As a side note, I'd love you to leave comments in the next few weeks letting me know you've been here, where you found me, where you read my work, what you think and I understand not wanting to reveal your identity, but leave me a clue, please? I like to think I'm pretty quick and I'll be able to guess who you are and we'll keep it just between us. Alrighty then? Alrighty.