Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Sometimes

Sometimes you want to hear something besides, "When is daddy coming home?" Especially when it's the only thing you've heard the kids say since they got out of bed in the morning.

Sometimes you want to hear the happy sounds of siblings being nice to each other instead of bickering. Bickering is reality between siblings and it isn't all the time, but I'd still rather hear nice.

Sometimes I like to have my plans go my way instead of hauling the laptop to bed and then realizing I can't read the screen with my glasses and I've already put my contacts to bed. Sleeping was probably better than editing anyway.

Sometimes I like to pretend that I actually know what's on my calendar and what's going to happen next. The rest of the time I'm running around being late and jumping out of my chair when someone arrives at my door.

Sometimes I like to think that I'd like to be back in time and pretend that my memories are really how it was instead of how I've let my memories remember something.

Sometimes I think I'd like to travel and see things and do things. Sometimes I think I'd like to meet people and socialize. Most times I'm at home, alone except for the little people.

Sometimes I realize that even on my most sun drenched glory days there is an element of bittersweet in my life. There is a melancholy that I can not shake. Most of the time it is far from my mind and heart, but occasionally it nags me.

1 comment:

Mandy said...

There's always a little bitter with the sweet, isn't there?

I know I've had many days that I wished I had somewhere to go, or something different to do than what I was doing... that can be a very lonely feeling! Especially if coupled with the bickering.. oh yes.. that makes you want to go far, far away! ;)