Thursday, July 8, 2010

This God Thing Is Convicting

I told you I'd come back with a thought. It's not really my thought though, this is God's deal.

In between all that fun stuff, I've been reading. I'm reading Crazy Love and The Bible. Probably shouldn't be reading them both together if I'd like to keep on living my life the regular comfortable way, you know, without continual conviction.

So, anyway, here's a little bit from my quiet time this morning.

I sat down this morning to have some quiet time with the Lord and my mind was full. I was thinking about Little One and all my messed up feelings about him going and sort of half selfishly hoping he'll stay even though I really want what God wants and well, you know. Then I was thinking about the story I wrote and the prize and what stories come next and what the future could be and well, you know.

I read 1 Samuel 15. This is the chapter where Saul gets rejected by God as the King. The key is that Saul only half listens to what he's told. Samuel does a great job of telling Saul exactly what God wants him to do. Saul only follows part of the instructions. Then when he gets busted for it, he has the nerve to ramble on and on, trying to justify his disobedience.

Funny, that hits pretty close to what I'm reading in Crazy Love too. This idea that disobedience is rebellion and that we're only partially doing what God asks of us. Yeah, well, you know.

Back to 1 Samuel. So here's the key verse in my mind right now.

"But Samuel replied: Does the LORD delight in burnt offerings and sacrifices as much as in obeying the voice of the LORD? To obey is better than sacrifice, and to heed is better than the fat of rams. For rebellion is like the sin of divination, and arrogance like the evil of idolatry. Because you have rejected the word of the LORD, he has rejected you as king." 1 Samuel 15: 22-23

It leaves me thinking about how often we all obey in the way we want to obey, not in the way that we are asked. It also left me thinking about how often we justify our partial obedience with really lame excuses. I mean we love thinking how important we are and how great our lives are or how important our work or ministry might be, but really, compared to GOD, we're not much.

It got me thinking too, about what would life be like if we all really truly obeyed. It even made me wonder what I've been rejected from because of my disobedience. What are the things that God wanted me to be for Him that I never had the opportunity to become and experience because I chose to half heartedly obey and then add to it some lame excuse.