Monday, November 29, 2010

Looks Good On The Outside, Right?

So we all live a life that generally looks pretty good on the outside. When it starts to feel like it's not looking so good, we start working harder at making it look better.

In the land of Christian living, that usually means finding a verse and washing the event over with some sort of Christian platitude, you know, like saying, it's okay, God's got this.

Well, if you belong to God, He does have it, but, sometimes, we're a bit real too.

So here's the thing. Yesterday, Little Miss and I were in a car accident.

Not like a little fender bender. We're talking massive accident. We're talking I woke up this morning really realizing how stinking amazing it is that I'm alive today and not dead or in a hospital. They cleaned up what was left of my 12 passenger van with brooms and shovels.

Almost all the windows on my van blew out. The back doors cannot be opened. The passenger doors can be opened but then not shut again. The frame is so wrinkled on the driver side that the inside plastic and fabric are all pulled away. When you're standing in the van you can look down between the metal frame and the insides. The back tires are blown out and one of the wheels bent sideways...who knows about the axle, not that it matters. The mirrors are destroyed. An entire traffic signal/light post was completely sheered off and was lying on top of my van, dent anyone. The front is mashed in and destroyed. We were spun 360. No small feat in a 12 passenger, especially when you're colliding with a tiny little 2 door.

And I opened the door and walked away.

Little Miss, other than having a car seat full of glass and car parts was fine.

Did I mention we walked away?

Even the other car, the one that was missing the entire front half, the driver walked away.

I woke up this morning realizing that if I had been in my "little van", a standard mini, I might not have walked away.

If I had been in the little car I just sold, well...I just don't know.


So the whole thing last night got The Mr. and I thinking about our last year or so in time and all that we've been walking through. On here, it all seems pretty good. Like life is pretty great. And it is. We're blessed. We're fortunate. Our life is easy.

It's also challenging.

It might be time for a little perspective. A list of sorts, our list of things.

The Mr. says it sounds like the late 90's Cleveland Browns, (the drive, the fumble). Now if that means something to you....


We had a fire---minor chimney fire.
We had this car accident---they scooped up my van with shovels and dumped what was left of it into buckets.
Part of my extended family had challenging housing situations.
We had more kids having x-rays than at any other time in our life ever, combined.
We had a massive concussion, complete with ambulance ride.
We had to give up Little One.
We've had major dental issues.
The Mr.'s job is, um, well, we're thankful to still be working what ever it's like.
Weird work travel.
Weird flu's.
My nephew is very sick.
We changed our roll in some ministry areas.
We have 3 kids in 3 different schools.

See, major and minor all at once. The list isn't all that long or all that dramatic, but the things, they pile up, pile on and then, well, it just is.

I could go on, but you're getting the point here.

Life happens. It's risky. It's tough.

We choose to see the best of it. We choose to see the God in it.

Do I understand any of it?

Not on your life.

So what about yesterday? What does it mean? Didn't God want us to have that big old van? Didn't He want me to be picking up my nieces and nephews to care for them while their brother is in the hospital? Is this about trust? Is it about control? Is it a "praise Him in the storm" moment? Is it just merely being in the wrong place at the wrong time?

I don't know.

I don't know that I'll ever really know.

I'm not sure it matters.

What I do know, sounds trite, but it's true. I belong to God. I am His and so somehow this all works out. Somehow it's all about His Glory.

What I do know, is the risks are worth it.