Saturday, January 8, 2011

Can I Learn This Lesson?

I'll state the obvious. It's the start of a new year. That has lots of bloggers talking about their resolutions or the opposite, why they're bad.

I generally don't do this stuff. I don't like it. I don't do resolutions.

That's not to say that I don't decide to make changes in my life and then put in the efforts to accomplish them, not at all. I do, do those things. I just don't do them at the appointed changing of the calendar day.

When there is something in my life that I need to address, good, bad or otherwise, I spend a bit of time thinking about it. Then I spend a lot of time talking and praying about it. Then I make a plan and get determined. I do it on whatever day is the day it happens.

Now here's that whole spiritual Christian thing though.

Before Christmas, I was getting a message (you know, from Him) that simply said, "hold it loosely, give it freely".

Okay, I thought. Clear. Give more stuff and money away. Easy. We can do that. We already do a bunch of that, a hand full of missionaries, kids in foreign lands, foster kids, an inner city school and so on. We've got this, I thought.

It has persisted though. Right on through the end of the holiday and it continues even today. I heard myself saying it again this morning, "hold it loosely, give it freely".

I'm starting to see the light.

It'll be obvious to a bunch of you, but for me, well, it's a dawning of sorts.

"hold it loosely, give it freely"

That isn't just about my checkbook. It's my time too. It's my energy. It's my dreams. It's friendship. It's my kids. It's my joy. It's my words. It's love.

It's a lot of things and moments and feelings I can't quite sort into words yet.

It's whispered prayer. It's tears and laughter. It's memories and moments making them.

"hold it loosely, give it freely"

In it's season, as it runs it's course through my life and I learn it's lesson, it will break me and make me at the same time. It will be peace and upheaval all at once. It will be deep rest and utter exhaustion in the same breath.

"hold it loosely, give it freely"