Wednesday, November 2, 2011

If I Knew...

The prompt today over on the NaBloPoMo is "If you knew your next meal was your last, what would it be?"

So far the answers I've read on fellow bloggers blogs have been exactly what I expected.  There is a lot of talk about savoring the food, being present in the moment, the company you would keep during this last meal and so on.  None of those are bad.  Not at all.

Quite honestly for myself, I think if I knew it was my last meal, I wouldn't be hungry.

I can't imagine myself looking ahead and seeing the moment of my own death looming and suddenly being focused on food.

It's not that I don't enjoy food.  I do.  I'm a bit of a junkie when it comes to cooking and food and so on.

There is a part of me that thinks I'd like to spend those last moments with the people I love, but then I start thinking, where is the cut off?  Would it be my husband and kids?  Would it include my parents and siblings? Sibling-in-laws?  What about my besties?  What about the rest of my family?

Then I start thinking, wait a minute, do I really want any of them there?  Would I really want my people, my loves to see my last minutes?  What would that do to them?  That might be a horrible thing for them to be a part of.  I might like it, but it might be awful for them and leave them in therapy for years!  Especially my kids, that might not be good at all.

Maybe it could be just a quiet moment alone.  I don't get many of those, quiet moments or moments alone, both together would be impressive in a way, but then again, after I'm dead, won't I have peace?

What if I spent those moments leaving messages for the people I love, letters or recorded messages or something?  Except, that I know myself, and I know how deep my love is for these people and I realize there isn't enough words or time to say it all to each one, and who gets less?  Who gets slighted and bears that for the rest of their lives?  Nope.  I don't want that either.

Wow, it seems what would you eat Wednesday turned into how morbid and depressing can you be!

Guess I should change my answer, I'll have red wine and home made pasta.

1 comment:

giaghani said...

two comments in one day! but hopefully, I can keep up with your posts on schedule now!

This was really interesting and how true it was. It made my mind spin a little bit as I started considering all of it. I'd think I'd like to be around family and friends. Sometimes, even if the moment is tragic, the presence is important. :)

Also, I could go for some pasta....right....now!