A long time ago I was labeled as that person. It stuck. You all know how it is. You get a certain label and it stays.
I can't remember when it started or when I became fully aware that I was that person but I am.
I could sit here and tell you all about the labels and the words and the slights and the hurts and all that, but what would it do? It wouldn't change a thing. It would bring a few days of drama, maybe a little remorse, definitely tears and yelling, cause that's how drama goes. In the end it would just make the label stick harder.
I will always be that person.
So for a few days I'll fume a little by myself. I'll be struck by how it still stings every stinking time. I'll feel sorry for myself. I'll remind myself that I shouldn't be surprised or that better still I should be expecting this in my life. Probably eat and drink too much for a couple days. I'll be short with people I love and unforgiving with myself.
When you get a clue and think it might be about you, I'll say no. I'll smooth it over and say it's all good. It's fine. It wasn't that. I will do my best to play any other roll than that person in the mix. I'll play nice. I'll say and do the right things. I'll be the good girl.
And I'll still just be that person.