A little real life episode for you...
I'm driving in the truck with Mr. Monkey and our conversation went something close to this:
"You're my mom."
"I have mommy(insert birth mom's name here) too."
"Do you love me?"
"Yes. I love you very much. Even when you have a day like today. You won't have to leave here."
"Mommy(Let's call her Suzie) loves me too?"
"Yes. Mommy Suzie loves you very much."
"Mommy Suzie is sick."
"Mommy Suzie is awesome and cool!" said aggressively.
"Yes, Mommy Suzie loves you very much."
"I 'tending(pretending) you Mommy Suzie."
There you have the glitz and glam of the rock star life we foster and trauma parents live.
And yes. It's perfectly alright with me if Mr. Monkey wants to pretend that I'm his birth mom. It's a constant complicated bittersweet thing, loving these kids, but it's good. That's the best I can explain it.
It is good.