Friends & Lovers

Tuesday, September 25, 2012
Do you agree with Nietszche's quote: "Love is blind; friendship closes its eyes.

The short answer is no.

I think in a way what Nietszche is trying to get at is the obvious, people are complex and not perfect and  that when you are friends or love a person, you see and are aware of the whole, yet don't focus on the faults, the imperfections or the weaknesses.

It's wise and true.

To see only a certain slice of a person is to not see them.

To see them and focus on the broken, bad, negative, faulty, etc. is unkind and unwise.  Yes, I know the whole thing about keeping someone accountable or iron sharpening iron and so on.  There is a very, very fine line between helping and harming.

Always, always check yourself when you are helping in the above ways.  Then check yourself again.

Then and only then, say it all if you must.

Later when you think on it and replay it over in your mind and you have a hesitation or an unsettled feeling or even the crystal clear "I probably shouldn't have..." go back and apologize.

But give a real apology.  Not a fake one fishing for attention for yourself.  Not one that makes the entire thing now about you.  Not one out of obligation.

Do it out of genuine humility and with full knowledge that you yourself are far less than perfect also and if another person wanted to sharpen you or hold you accountable there would be more than plenty available for subject matter.

A friend sees the good, brings it out and doubles it.

A lover cherishes it.

Be wise enough and open minded enough to know that love is undefined.  To me the command is love one another.  There seem to be infinite ways to love.  Millions of shades of what is called love.

We are stingy with love.

We are afraid to full on love people.

It's a shame.  So much of life is missed out on, lost if you will, because we don't just let ourselves love.  We don't say the words.  We don't take the actions.  We don't risk ourselves.  We don't open our souls because we know the hurt.

Our wisdom to protect ourselves is just the other side of the sword that cuts deep.