I am impatient and unkind.
People exhaust me.
It is one thing for a child to behave like a child because hopefully they are learning. Learning through family, friends, school, social whatever, life in general. Hopefully.
It's one thing for a teenager to behave like a teenager. They are trying on adulthood in all it's various flavors and shades and dysfunctions. They are learning the balance of relationships, their fluidity, their fickleness. Which ones harm and poison vs. which ones feed them well and help them thrive.
I don't make the rules. I don't get to be the judge.
But this is my space to write as I like.
Clearly in this life, I do not have any control over the rules.
Oh, if I did...
I am brutally aware that adult comes at no specific age.
These days I am surrounded by every age.
Some surprisingly young 20-somethings are very adult. Some many years my senior are astonishingly childish. Many of my peers behave in ways that leave me astonished.
At some point, for our own sanity, we have got to grow up. I feel like I keep saying it these days. Maybe it's the world climate or economics or politics or whatever you want to pin it all on, but I think simply there just needs to be a singular smack down of , "come on people! grow up already!" It is physically and emotionally exhausting to behave like a child.
Stop tattle tailing. Stop whining. Stop blubbering about unfairness. Stop feeling sorry for yourself. Stop gossiping. Stop having tantrums. Stop calling names. Stop blaming everyone else under the sun and beyond.
We each need to own our shit. You did X, you chose Y, you said Z and it wasn't a great choice? Ok. Own it. Learn something. Move on.
Oh, you did this and expected that as the result and something else happened? Boo hoo. Learn from it. Keep going.
Some insanely horrible unpredictable unfair thing happened to you? It hurt and it sucked and stopped you in your tracks for a while? That's called life honey. It happens to all of us until it's over.
Oh wait, but you're special? You're a believer? You're generous? Kind?
Your point is?
I'm tired of listening to someone blab someone else's private medical catastrophes or someone else's marriage nightmare or financial undoings to every other parent on the playground. I'm tired of hearing how it's supposed to be one way and the rules are this and people shouldn't that over coffee with good Christian ladies. I am exhausted of temper tantrums. For any reason.
You got it. Straight up. I'm a bitch. I'm uncaring. Unkind. I don't understand. I have no sympathy or empathy or whatever other label you want to push on me. You go right ahead if it makes you feel better. Stay small. Stay petty.
I refuse. I will own my shit. Every time. I will live fully. I will make mistakes. I will cause hurts and apologize more than I should. I will protect myself and those people who are mine without apology. I will keep going and working at the things I need to do and the things I believe in until there are no more days to do so. I will cut out things and people and whatever else I believe to be harmful or take away from the goals.
Maybe I'll discuss it, maybe I won't. Maybe you'll be pissed off over it, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll own your part of it, learn something and move on. Maybe you won't. Maybe this will be like every other blog post and you'll read it and believe it's all about you.
And what does that say really? If I write, on my own blog, fiction, truth or skewed reality and all you see is yourself?
I am not perfect. I am so far from it. Point it out if you must, but I already know my flaws well thank you very much.
And yes, to answer you question, your sarcasm, your critique, this is absolutely a childish rant.