Plain & Simple

Plain and simple.  Sometimes it just sucks.

It's pretty normal for me to sort through my everyday life through my words and find some kind of insight or some humor or something of value to pass along to you or just leave as a note to myself.

Writing the stories of my everyday life helps me sort through the insanity of my everyday life.  Making it all come out in lines and phrases brings me sanity as I wade through foster parenting.

But then there are days.

Or weeks.

When I won't blog about my life and it gets quiet around here because I need to keep little lives safe and protected.

There are times I bite my tongue.

There are other times when I really, really wish a birth parent could live in my shoes.  I wish they could see, feel, hear the damage they have done to these little people.

It's not easy to watch these kids come unglued and spiral beyond where a child should ever go.

It's even harder to watch and not be able to fix it.

It's not even that I can't fix it because I don't have legal pull to do whatever.  It's because these things are not fixable.

Time and God will do things, not saying that.  Wounds change.

Being a foster parent has changed my life, changed me; in more ways than I can count.  Positive ways.

Sometimes though, it's plain and simple.

It just straight up sucks.