It Hits

Today is Day 4.

Yesterday I cruised to 10,000 words without too much effort. The tale was telling itself happily.

I have crazy high daily word goals because I'm spending a large part of this month engaged in things other than the NaNo.

It was relatively early in the day when I crossed 10,000.

There was conversation in my house about whether or not I should stop writing for the day just because I hit my number goal.

Today I am thinking that I should have stopped.

I have been struggling to make the story go today.

My 1800 words have been hard won.

My doubts and fears have crept in mighty. They have grabbed a hold of my story with a vengeance and now I am uncertain.

Yesterday I was confident and even thinking about which people I would ask to have read the various drafts and how excited I was to get their opinions.

Today I am terrified that another human being would ever see it.

I am afraid that I am telling a story so wretched and painful that it will cause harm.

Today is my turn to say screw community, I need to write from the black hole and then burn all possible evidence of it!