Friday, June 26, 2015

Marriage Equality and My Kid

It isn't often I put words to paper these days, especially here.  My kids are all bigger. Our worlds are all becoming increasing connected in electronic ways. Most often now, I feel their stories are their own to tell and not mine to put a spin on and deliver to you.

Sometimes life happens in a way that needs to be noted.  Remarked upon even. Today was one of those days.

I never saw it coming.

That's why it's noteworthy.

Do you know what happened today? If you own a single electronic or participate in anything with or around other humans, at least here in America, I'm sure you know.

All marriage became legal and equal.

Now, why is that significant to me?

After all, I am in the standard marriage with kids and have been for a long time. Sure, sure, I have gay friends and whoo hoo, isn't this great for them.

It may seem trivial or sassy to say it like that, but really, let's be honest, unless it's really close to you, you're thinking all, "oh that's so nice" or "now Jerry and Tom can finally get married for real", not really thinking about what you're thinking.

I had the whole thing vaguely on my radar. I do have a child that's come out and declared a status other than hetero. I had it all on my list of current events things to keep an eye on. You know you do that as a parent or an adult, so you can be on your toes for those conversation opportunities with the kids in your life.

Mid-day the ruling announcement hit our home.

I didn't think all that much of it, until I watched my kid.

My kid, had an actual reaction of relief to this ruling.  Relief and joy.

I wouldn't have ever thought it would be such a huge thing to him. I had him pegged as a teenager. Interested only in teenage things and stressed out by only teenage things.

Even as his parent, and maybe this is my flaw alone, I never considered the idea that this was an issue that he worried over or even had anything other than passing feelings or thoughts about.

But today, he was relieved by this ruling. His world literally changed right before his eyes. And in turn, so did mine.

He is a screwball and a true teenager. He is flighty and disorganized and his motivations are all over the scale from none to overachiever. He can be rebellious and defiant and also sweet and insanely funny.

Today. He was wise as he spoke in words that seemed to me beyond his years.

Because I asked, "I am relieved mom. Today I have the freedom to be who I am. I can love whoever I fall in love with and it really will be OK."

"This is a huge day mom, we really are becoming the country we say we are, a country where all people could be equal."

My rambling point is this.

As parents we may have gone through today thinking very little about the ruling and how it impacts us or our kids. I'd say that's really off on our part. We should be recognizing how significantly this changes the world for our kids and the weights and pressures this takes off of them. We say all the time our kids are growing up in a world unlike our own. We usually mean that in all it's negative possibilities. Sometimes we should see it for the good.

For you friends and family against marriage equality, I understand your point of view. I respect you and your opinion. I respect the beliefs you hold that give you those views and opinions.

On the other hand, this is my kid and I love and support him no matter who he loves.

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