Saturday, August 4, 2007

Good Bye Again

Well, it's the second time in just 8 days that I've said good bye to a dear friend. It's a bit too much crying for my liking. It leaves me with a head-ache and a pain in my chest that isn't going to go away with a couple of aspirins. Every little while I think I've gotten a grip on the whole thing and I'm doing good and then I notice that I'm still crying.

It's a blessing to have such dear friends. It really, really is and I can't imagine my life without them, but it's still hard to let them not be near. I love having my closest friends near enough to touch. Who doesn't? Somehow, that just doesn't seem to be the plan for my life.

It's not that I don't have other friends here where I live. Or that I don't have anyone to do things with, I do. But there are those certain, special people that you just connect with in a whole different way. Those are the ones that always seem to have this need to be on the other side of the country.

And, they don't seem to be nearly as much of a big blubber-er as I am. Both of my friends were able to hug me good bye and say all kinds of wonderful things. I was either crying so hard I couldn't speak at all or not able to speak because I was trying not to cry so much. Either way, they were able to say all those special things to me, and I was quiet. Something to work on, I guess. I would love to have been able to say back to them that I loved them too. That our time together was some of the best times of my life. That they would be so very missed. Yet all I did was bite my tongue and sniffle. Or sob.

Perhaps someday, my fortune with friends will be different.

But for now, I'm just going to go get some more tissues.

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