Monday, March 30, 2009

Like always, it's been a few days. It hasn't been that I've not been thinking of you or what to write. I have. It's just been a bit of a non stop interruption around here.

In fact I've been thinking a lot about what to write.

It's been interesting the way things are stacking up. That's really the best way I can put it.

I'm sure this will be a murky post, but considering I'm mostly writing to myself, it's okay.

Long before this weekend, I'd started thinking about risk and hope. In fact, since I became a Christian a little more than a decade ago, it's something I think about a lot.

It's always been clear to me, inside my muddled up mind, that to be a Christian, to really follow Christ is to live in risk. And in a way, it seems that you can't live that life of risk without hope. How could you?

How could you take all the risks that God asks you to take if you didn't have hope?

I just don't know.

Then I went to church on Sunday. Our sermon (click the one that says Risk vs. Risk) was about risk. Then we went to Kid Stuff, and it was about hope.

If you know God, that isn't such a big deal that God lined those all up for me, but I still wanted to tell you.

See, some of the things that have been piling up are only on my heart and not in "real life". Some are even only what ifs and I know that we are not to worry, let alone worry about the what ifs of life.

But, again, living this life, serving our Lord is risky. Sometimes it is only a risk of the heart.

As a mommy, there are a lot of kids and moms and families pulling on my heart these days. I'm trying to learn to live with a heart that loves full out right up front and all the pains that go along with it.

Some of those amazing people touching my days and filling my prayers are Hollyn and Stellan. I learned of Stellan over at Bring The Rain. I strongly recommend reading their story, talk about a woman both blessing others and being blessed through tragedy.

So even though my heart is heavy for these families and kids and even some potential things, I have hope. I'll continue to live with risk, to follow and to hope.

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