Wednesday, June 30, 2010

Mommy Confessions

Just because I can.

I love the seasons, no matter what I tell you, and even when I say fall is my favorite, it is, but there is just something so, summer about summer that makes me love it.

It has this intoxicating freedom about it. Maybe it's just being out from under the cold and dark of winter in Wisconsin. Who knows.

I do find though, that summer brings out some "junk" in me.

I get a little nostalgic. Okay, maybe a lot. I get all kinds of wild ideas and suddenly find myself thinking, almost believing that anything is possible. I over schedule. I under plan. I over do. I never end up spending nearly as much time outside as I meant to or as I wanted to. I never end up reading that huge pile of books on my mental list. I forget the camera.

So here's the mommy confession part. I love my life packed full of kiddos and all that goes with it. I do. I wouldn't trade it.

But.

Every once in a while, especially when I'm driving in the summer, windows down, music way to loud, I have this little fantasy. Well, I guess it's a combination of fantasy and memory. I realize how different my life would be if I were alone. I have moments when I can see myself being alone. Having quiet and doing anything I'd like to do.

It's a typical plague of mommy life, especially when so many of the little people are, well, little.

But it's still a sweet little thought. The savory feeling of alone. It will come in it's time.

And I'm still loving my jam packed full life, kids and sticky and all, but you know, alone is pretty sweet too.

So what's your secret mommy confession? Do you use the Mr. Bubble when the kids are at school? Do you have a little count down going until they reach a certain magical age? Come on, you know you have them. Time to share.

3 comments:

Mandy said...

Mine is the same as yours! There are times that I'm driving and I hear an old song and it takes me back to many summers ago when I was a teen - young and free. Windows down, music blaring, not a care in the world.

I guess when you spend your life totally taking care of other people, your #1 need is to simply have time to take care of yourself. To BE by yourself.. to rest!

It definitely doesn't mean anything about how feel about our kids or our lives.. I think it's just totally normal to sometimes long for the easier days.

bluemountaingirl said...

IT'S LIKE WE'RE THE SAME PERSON! (Or in other words, ditto everything you just said :)

Jen said...

Thanks ladies! At least I know I'm not alone in my momentary weaknesses. I just sometimes have those moments of longing for when everything seemed to carefree and boundless. Summer brings back that feeling of freedom.