Maybe There Is Good Bye After All

The measure of a man?  Of a life well lived?  Of a well lived life?

Pretty much standing room only tonight at Bob's funeral.

As I looked around the crowded room, there were faces I sort of recognized and many that I didn't.  There were a few that I did know.  A hand full of the class of '89.  (Thanks Kelly for helping me find my way in and not leaving me standing in the door.)

What I did see clearly in that room full of faces, was your beautiful soul.

I saw the lives you touched and the love you gave.

We heard it in the music.  (Nathan, thanks is not enough.)

And driving home I knew how to say good by.  You won't be forgotten, not with a room full of lives touched by yours.

All that love.

You loved all of us with an open hand, kept us and let us go as we needed.

And so in the same way, I let you go, not to be forgotten, but to give us both peace.

Mommy Confessions

Just because I can.

I love the seasons, no matter what I tell you, and even when I say fall is my favorite, it is, but there is just something so, summer about summer that makes me love it.

It has this intoxicating freedom about it. Maybe it's just being out from under the cold and dark of winter in Wisconsin. Who knows.

I do find though, that summer brings out some "junk" in me.

I get a little nostalgic. Okay, maybe a lot. I get all kinds of wild ideas and suddenly find myself thinking, almost believing that anything is possible. I over schedule. I under plan. I over do. I never end up spending nearly as much time outside as I meant to or as I wanted to. I never end up reading that huge pile of books on my mental list. I forget the camera.

So here's the mommy confession part. I love my life packed full of kiddos and all that goes with it. I do. I wouldn't trade it.

But.

Every once in a while, especially when I'm driving in the summer, windows down, music way to loud, I have this little fantasy. Well, I guess it's a combination of fantasy and memory. I realize how different my life would be if I were alone. I have moments when I can see myself being alone. Having quiet and doing anything I'd like to do.

It's a typical plague of mommy life, especially when so many of the little people are, well, little.

But it's still a sweet little thought. The savory feeling of alone. It will come in it's time.

And I'm still loving my jam packed full life, kids and sticky and all, but you know, alone is pretty sweet too.

So what's your secret mommy confession? Do you use the Mr. Bubble when the kids are at school? Do you have a little count down going until they reach a certain magical age? Come on, you know you have them. Time to share.