Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Big & Bold

Hey kids, guess what? It's time to get down and dirty with reality.

A bunch of you are real loyal readers and have a pretty good clue about what's happening in our life right now. Another bunch of you actually know me in real life; it's a sort of penalty in itself, I know, but that means you know too. Another group of you have gotten one of the mass emails begging prayer.

Well, there is yet another group of you just beginning to tune in or who know me on the edges. This is your warning. It's not too late to look away.

Now, I'm prompted to begin this here only because I have been being pushed by The Spirit in these last few days to pray boldly and expect answers.

There is challenge in this though, as due to my position--The Foster Momma--I am bound by certain rules (which in general are good and decent), but hinder a bit what I'm trying to share.

At any point, you may email me and we can get more personal. You can find the address in the profile box.

Little One is 2. He has been in our care for 2 years. We will go to court in early October. We've received our summons. There is an order to move him to a new home.

We want what is best for Little One and his siblings. Above all else, we want His will to be done, whether or not that is our wish.

In all honesty, I cannot tell you that either one of our homes is the hands down best for these children. According to the courts at this time the siblings are not even a part of the discussion. I believe they are.

There are rampant lies and misstatements in this case being presented as truths. That is hard.

Here it is. One of the crux issues in this setting. The family member slated to become the adoptive parent of these 3 kids is in a relationship.

I try really hard to land on the side of love and not on the side of judge or condemn. I know that we're to call out others living in sin, but I have thoughts about that too. You know, stuff like, we ought to be in relationship with those people before we start in on that and that it works a whole lot better in the context of two believers instead of under the pressure of one believer trying to earn a convert. Know what I mean folks?

I'm also not so deep in my Christian bubble that I don't have and have never had any gay or lesbian friends. I have had some in the past. We've parted ways the same way other friendships ebb away. I have some now. They're genuine wonderful friends. They're real. They love and ache just like the rest of us.

Here's where I say it.


We all read our Bible's differently and we all have our own unique personal relationships with our Savior. I'm thankful for that. If I had to relate to God, even the same way as one of my kids or The Mr., I'd be in trouble. I am not them and they are not me. We speak differently. We process in different ways. We feel differently and learn differently and can tolerate different amounts of pain and garbage.


I simply have reached that point. I cannot believe at this moment, that it is God's will for these three kids to be raised in the home of a same sex couple. And they are a couple. They seem to love each other and love the kids.

This stuff is hard kids, it's real life, and it's hard.

So what gives? I don't know. Up until a week or so ago, I had a certain peace about this, but as the days dwindle and each night I put Little One into his bed and kiss his forehead, it changes.

Perhaps this is just grief in advance of a loss that seems to be inevitable.

Perhaps it's not.

All I know, is that from all directions I have been being hit with the message to trust and pray boldly for things extraordinary. So I will do that.

This is where you all come into the game.

Whatever your faith is, I'm asking you to pray boldly too. Regardless of how it all ends out and the right or wrong of who becomes the forever home(s) for all 3 of these kids, there is a war on.


If you're not aware of or a believer in spiritual warfare, I can't help you today, but I can tell you, this case is highly charged. From the start "crazy" (read things of the Devil)things have been happening. Our first case worker had a massive stroke and never recovered that we're aware of. She was slightly older than I am and a single mother of special needs kids. Our second seemed to run into some legal issues, extremely unusual for a social worker. They're usually on the right side of all things legal. So far, so good, for the 3rd one, but it'd be a good idea to start praying for her protection.

The front page story has been about our GAL and our former judge and former case worker. A bit unnerving.

We've had some weird stuff at home with our kids. Some weird family stuff going on. Things are breaking in odd and unexpected ways. All seemingly minor and coincidental, but that could easily become large wedges driving us apart and nothing is stronger than believers in prayer and unity.

Still not a believer in the attacks?

I was just about down to the end of writing this one out, when I needed to run kids to practice and youth group and all that. I saved it and took off. Littlest Mr. went off to football practice, then I went home to get Little Mr. and take him to church. In the middle, The Mr. came home from the dentist.

He walked in and said, "You know what happened to me at the dentist?"


"She dropped the drill on my forehead! How weird is that?"

As I pulled up from dropping off Little Mr. at church, The Mr. came out of the house saying coach had just called and he was going to the field to see what happened with Littlest Mr.

Long story short, he went my ambulance to the ER and has a concussion.


Maybe. But I doubt it because by the end of the night I heard myself having a conversation that was in a way rationalizing away a part of a Biblical command.

This morning I realize I have quite a few concerns about the home Little One is slated to go to. None of the concerns out weighs another and none of them can be all that sugar coated to soothe feelings.

So this is your call. Please, on behalf of Little One, pray big, bold prayers, for these 3 kids to be placed exactly where God wants them and that God will do whatever it takes to make that happen.