Thoughts in Print

Even though I've had kids in the house, little kids, for the last dozen years, there is something different about having a 2 and 4 year old at the same time.

I still think that 4 is the most difficult age there is, well, maybe next to the split personality of the tweener thing, but hands down, compared to 2, I just bow down and humble myself to the spectacle that is 4. Wow!

2 is still somehow cute and precocious in it's verbal assertions and wanna be big attitude displays. 4 is just sass wanting to be give a consequence. 4 is preK going on 20-something-all-that-diva-queen...or perhaps, that's just my little brown girl.

Fiercely independent.

It's a bit of a mantra around this house.

So often we look at something, a moment, a behavior, or a statement and there is a glimmer that one day, they're going to make it through this life in spite of themselves. Even my most challenged kids seem to be having moments that show they are fiercely independent.

And what is it about making that switch in the wardrobe from clothes sizes in months to toddler that instantly makes them seem like big kids. I'm suddenly finding myself looking at Little One and thinking, he's just not a baby anymore. He's a full on running wild toddler boy.

In a way, I hate to say it, but I'm looking forward to next week when I finally have 3 of the 4 in school all day and number 4 will be having some half days away on visits. It gives me hope that the house might finally get really clean, you know, around the edges! I have a glimmer of a plan for finishing the painting I started last winter. I might actually manage to get one assignment done without requesting an extension.

Lately, I've been discovering I lack a fair amount of discipline. I feel like I spend a good amount of time reading and writing and generally "doing what I do," but in reality, I think I probably don't. It's sort of like how you think you eat pretty well and are pretty active until you start keeping a log book and then you realize, well, it just isn't so.

I think in reality, I'm much more of a paper writer than a computer user. It's too easy to waste the time and be distracted. Now, I love my computer and the net. They are great tools and really important to keep me connected to the outside world, but...

I'm also way past due for a hair cut and dye job, and in a way, I just don't care. I've reached the stage of butterfly clips in messy hair. It probably doesn't help that I no longer have a time slot for a shower in the morning unless I get up at 5 and well, I like sleep. I give bed head a whole new meaning.

The Mr. is also going to travel for work. Atlanta, Denver, Philly and DC, all in the next 10 days. Guess he's some sort of accounting rock star. Here at home, we're going to have some babysitters and drive through dinners.