The evening mist wrapped a damp chill around her as she
strode across the parking lot. An inky
sky lay heavy on the cars waiting under the low lights. She held the key tight in her fingers and
fought the shiver building in the pit of her stomach. Jasmine concentrated on getting to her car
without looking either way and pushed the thoughts from her head.
The only safe way to get past them was to walk steadily,
driven and mechanical to her car and get in.
It wasn’t that long ago she made the mistake of glancing sideways and
once she dared to look at the sky, but never, never again. The price was too high.
Fingers clenched around the key, she unlocked the door. In a single swift motion the door was open
and Jasmine was inside with the door closed and locked again. It was only then that she let her breath
out. She had the car in drive before she
even had her seatbelt on. Once she was
driving on the road, she felt safer, but the thoughts began to crowd her mind
again.
Why? Why had she worn
this stupid dress today? Jasmine loved
and hated how she looked in it and early this morning had left the complex
wearing it with a certain scent of despair.
She knew that in days gone by, a life she could barely remember, she
would have reveled in wearing this dress.
The simple color and style, the way it snugged close against her ample
curves made men turn their heads and women glance under their lashes. She knew.
She felt it.
Now it was different though.
It was scandalous. The fact that
she still even possessed a throwback could have easily cost her the safety she
was allowed as one of the precious few.
It was over for her now.
She knew the moment she saw the car behind her. Not even being one of the precious few would
save her.
11 comments:
Creepy! I am very curious about what's really going on here.
I had wondered if maybe she'd been raped, so she felt self-conscious in a figure-hugging dress. The last two paragraphs seemed to rule that out, so I'm curious as to what her situation is and what it means to be "one of the precious few".
Interesting. This is a great set up for a longer piece. There are so many questions posed without answers. Nice job!
I'm so glad you liked it!
Oh, I definitely want to know more about this. Sinister and scary.
Interesting. One of the precious few - I wonder what that means. And its over for her now, wearing a revealing dress. I'm hooked.
I would love to read more! Well done.
Janna pretty much stole my comment. :-) Nice job leaving us hanging! Thanks for linking up.
Nice suspense. Are you going to write the rest of it? It sounds like a sci-fi short story I'd like to read.
It feels sci-fi to me too. I will work on it to see where it goes. I like the scene, so I plan to run with it for a while and see what happens next.
My first time here, thanks to Trifecta! This "skeeved me out," as my friends say. Having lived in NYC as a jazz singer for years, coming home late nights dressed to the nines, I got this from the start. And cars following her? That, too. Driving blocks out of the way. Her only safety is in the willingness to stop-and-go through red lights... Scary. Peace, Amy
http://sharplittlepencil.com/2012/09/17/incantations-in-jazz/
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