Fall Memories

A collection, much like leaves in piles...

I have only vague memories of trick or treat.  Those late elementary school years we lived in a subdivision that was just being developed.  There were lots of dead end roads with a few houses each.  There were more lots marked off ready to be built than actual neighbors, unless you counted the cows.  Trick or treat was about getting to all the houses possible within the subdivision.  It was usually completely do-able.  I remember a lot of weird costumes and winter coats.  I remember the sort of ritual of pumpkins getting smashed in the road.

Later years, fall was busy.  I was marching band and cheerleading.  Our school colors, orange and black, as fall and Halloween as it gets.  It is unbelievably awkward to be the cheerleader marching in the half time show in your cheer uniform and not your band uniform.  It was always too cold.  I remember the year I marched holding my instrument and not playing because my jaw was broken, again.

Fall was the season of back to school relationships.  It was the tricky time of seeing if your friends from last year were still your friends this year, especially if you were like me and didn't see anyone over the summer.  I was still the "new kid" even after 4 years.

Football and marching band finished up every Friday night with a dance in the gym.  All that time in the band room, all those dramas.  Besties sharing clothes, curling irons plugged in everywhere, the room smelling like hair spray.  We had our own music in there.  Then we'd come around the school to the dance.

School dances.  80's style.  Pegged pants.  Polo.  Madonna, Guns-N-Roses, U2...there were so many.  Neon, denim, sweaters off the shoulder.  Hats, gloves and piles of jewelry.  Slow dancing in the dark.

One of those after the game dances was fateful.  Life changing.

I danced with The Mr.

My life changed course, from what?  I don't know.  I didn't have much of a life plan when I was 15, but I do know that meeting The Mr. so young changed how I was influenced and by who.  I don't mean that in a negative way, not for anyone.  It's just sometimes startling, now in my 40's, to be able to look back and see how much he shaped who I became and the life I'm living.

Again, not bad.

I married The Mr. in the fall.

A few more days, and it will be 20 years since my wedding date and our names were carved, calligraphy style, in pumpkins.

Fall is always a starting over for me.  It's always a remembering and reflecting kind of time.  It's when I take stock of where I'm at and where I meant to be and where I want to go next.  Then I make some plans, not a lot, because after all, it's me.  I don't usually even use the plans I make.

Some of my recent fall seasons have been giving kids up or getting new ones.  We are almost to the one year mark for Mr. Monkey.  Someday this child will have peace.

I'm off to soak in some 80's play lists and some fall memories.

   

First Day Of School

The first day of school was never a thing that was particularly memorable to me one way or the other.  It generally carried some weight because it was close to or on my actual birthday.  That can be a little less than the best birthday day, to have it fall on the first day of school.

The only first day of school that really stand out in my mind was my first day of high school, way back when.  It used to stand out to me in a bitter way, but not anymore.

I went to high school in a small town.  A very small town.  I moved to that town just a few short months before high school began.  I moved there from a bigger city.  I had attended a big middle school.

I expected it to be easy.  Small town, small school, small class--about 200 kids.  I thought it would be a piece of cake to make friends and fit in, to learn my way around the school and make the most of high school.

I didn't understand small towns.  In a way, I still don't.  But I learned a lot.

These kids, my classmates, had been in everything together from the very beginning.  From toddler playgroups to kindergarten to soccer to middle school.  Now it was high school.  Everyone had their click.  Their place.

I didn't have a place.

My first week of high school, not a single student spoke to me.  Not a casual hi.  Not a oh you're the new kid.  Not a teasing word.  Nothing.

That silence spoke volumes.

After a week, someone did befriend me, thanks Shelly, you'll never know what it meant.  She dragged me kicking and screaming into all kinds of things I would never have done without her.

That first week of silence changed me in a way.  At that time, it shut me down.  It made me afraid and doubtful.  I spent high school being afraid of everything and everyone.  I never got truly close to more than one or two people in high school.

As the years have rolled by, and many have by now, it's changed me in a different way.

I've come to see all that was wasted by fears.  I've come to see them as invalid fears.  I've come to finally now know some of my classmates and realize that even though it was awful at the time, it was never really an intentional slight.

I don't think any of my high school classmates meant to ignore me then.   We were all just kids trying our best to figure it out.  In the end, even though I have very few friends from high school, even fewer who are close to me, I still have great high school memories and I wouldn't trade it.

What was your most memorable first day of school, blog it and or leave it for me in the comments.

Summer Dreamin'

Could summer and heaven be the same thing? Or could heaven be like the most ideal summer day and night?

• clear blue skies, warmth, gentle breezes
• evenings without bugs
• beaches and pools and swimming and sand without sunburn and rashes and swallowing bad water or getting swimmers ear
• camp fires and smores
• BBQ and cold salads and lemonades and fresh fruit and frozen treats
• family and friends and parties and picnics
• naps
• books and board games and baseball
• bike rides
• walking into sweltering heat
• sweating
• walking into cool air conditioning
• boats and lakes and sailing and hammocks
• umbrella drinks
• photos
• reunions with long ago friends
• lazy conversations and vacation post cards
• vacation anticipation
• coming home
• sleeping with the windows open
• cool nights after hot days
• sunglasses and the smells of sun screen
• bubbles and kites and blankets on the grass
• outdoor concerts
• tiki torches and patio parties
• beer in washtubs of ice
• bare feet
• sidewalk chalk and scraped knees and summer love
• freedom
• farm markets
• fire works and root beer floats and county fairs
• staying up too late just because
• sunsets
• thunderstorms
• playing in the rain
• sunrises
• birds
• flowers and green grass and trees with leaves
• tan and freckled and peeling kids faces
• the smell of the pool on the hottest day in August
• the super darkness of a movie theater in the middle of a summer afternoon
• road trips and surprises and butterflies
• unexpected kisses and magic moments
• the feeling of knowing you're making a memory the moment you're doing it
• feeling alive

Time for you to play along, add to the ideal summer heaven list. I can't wait to hear what would be on your list!