Sunday, October 7, 2012

Fall Memories

A collection, much like leaves in piles...

I have only vague memories of trick or treat.  Those late elementary school years we lived in a subdivision that was just being developed.  There were lots of dead end roads with a few houses each.  There were more lots marked off ready to be built than actual neighbors, unless you counted the cows.  Trick or treat was about getting to all the houses possible within the subdivision.  It was usually completely do-able.  I remember a lot of weird costumes and winter coats.  I remember the sort of ritual of pumpkins getting smashed in the road.

Later years, fall was busy.  I was marching band and cheerleading.  Our school colors, orange and black, as fall and Halloween as it gets.  It is unbelievably awkward to be the cheerleader marching in the half time show in your cheer uniform and not your band uniform.  It was always too cold.  I remember the year I marched holding my instrument and not playing because my jaw was broken, again.

Fall was the season of back to school relationships.  It was the tricky time of seeing if your friends from last year were still your friends this year, especially if you were like me and didn't see anyone over the summer.  I was still the "new kid" even after 4 years.

Football and marching band finished up every Friday night with a dance in the gym.  All that time in the band room, all those dramas.  Besties sharing clothes, curling irons plugged in everywhere, the room smelling like hair spray.  We had our own music in there.  Then we'd come around the school to the dance.

School dances.  80's style.  Pegged pants.  Polo.  Madonna, Guns-N-Roses, U2...there were so many.  Neon, denim, sweaters off the shoulder.  Hats, gloves and piles of jewelry.  Slow dancing in the dark.

One of those after the game dances was fateful.  Life changing.

I danced with The Mr.

My life changed course, from what?  I don't know.  I didn't have much of a life plan when I was 15, but I do know that meeting The Mr. so young changed how I was influenced and by who.  I don't mean that in a negative way, not for anyone.  It's just sometimes startling, now in my 40's, to be able to look back and see how much he shaped who I became and the life I'm living.

Again, not bad.

I married The Mr. in the fall.

A few more days, and it will be 20 years since my wedding date and our names were carved, calligraphy style, in pumpkins.

Fall is always a starting over for me.  It's always a remembering and reflecting kind of time.  It's when I take stock of where I'm at and where I meant to be and where I want to go next.  Then I make some plans, not a lot, because after all, it's me.  I don't usually even use the plans I make.

Some of my recent fall seasons have been giving kids up or getting new ones.  We are almost to the one year mark for Mr. Monkey.  Someday this child will have peace.

I'm off to soak in some 80's play lists and some fall memories.


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