Today's foster care story is about my lack of compassion or some other short fall.
I'm really trying hard to have a thankful attitude right now.
Little One just brought home a trash bag full of clothes from his visit. The bag was torn all over in a way that looked like an animal tried to get into or out of it. Without even opening it up I could smell it.
I'll confess.
When the worker brought it out of her car for me, I brought Little One in the house and left the bag on the front step. In the rain.
More confession.
When I did bring it in, I opened it up on the floor and dumped it out instead of sticking my hands into the bag to grab the clothes out.
Still confessing.
As I labeled all the clothes with his initials in Sharpie, I was overwhelmed with the smell, and not of the Sharpie. I was also annoyed. Annoyed because it was clear no one had gone through these clothes to see if they were worth passing on or if they were the right sizes. Annoyed because on this day that I want to be preparing for a happy birthday night, I'm now burdened with 5 new loads of laundry. I have to find a place to keep all these things for Little One, just in case.
You see, even though they are crummy clothes in all the wrong sizes, they are from his parents. I need to label them with his initials because he's foster. We plan to keep him here until his case resolves, but it isn't always up to us. Those things, however junkie or broken or inappropriate they may be always have the potential to be the last things. The last things he gets from his parents. The last things they give to him. The last time they think of him. Someday, if he never goes "home" again, they will be his last ties to a family he can't remember.
And still more confessions.
I'm washing it all. Even if I end up putting it in storage in "his" box, it has to be washed.
Every time I handle the clothes before washing them I use hand sanitizer. I really want to change my clothes and shower. I have the creepy crawlies. You just never know what will come with those clothes. Lice, fleas, spiders, ants, ringworm or who knows what other sort of icky, nasty there could be.
I want to have a different attitude. I'm willing myself to see good in this. To see hope where there doesn't seem to be any. I want to believe that maybe this time is it. Maybe this time the birth parents "get it". Maybe now they see how important their kids are. Maybe now they'll kick their habits. Maybe now they'll put their kids first.
I need to hope that this child's path has been made straight by the Lord, even though to me it looks like a winding mountain path.
Moving on, today it The Littlest Mr.'s birthday. He is 7. After school and baseball practice and piano lessons, we'll celebrate. We'll have his chosen dinner; hot dogs, mac-n-cheese, pretzels, Sun Chips, soda and zucchini cake. We'll have just a few presents.
In a few days we'll do the birthday thing again. This time in pink as it will be Little Miss's birthday. She'll be 3. Then 3 days later, it'll be Little Mr. turning 11. Fast forward 10 more days and Little One will be 1.
That's a lot of cake and candles folks. A lot of wrapping paper and frosting. 2 more unusual dinners requested by kids.
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
A Recipe, Just Because
This is really just a note to myself. I don't use recipes, generally, although cookbooks are some of my favorite books to read. I'm just collecting ideas and information. We're on a bit of a tuna casserole kick over here lately, so I thought it was about time to throw together a note of what I'm throwing together in the pan and onto the table in our corner of the world.
Not Your Mama's Tuna Casserole
Use a 13X9 glass pan.
2 cans tuna
1 can mushrooms
1 can cream mushroom soup
mayo--guessing about 1/2 cup
Parmesan cheese--guess 1 cup
sharp cheddar shred--1 bag give or take
frozen peas--just enough to bug the kids
garlic powder--1/8 cup? lots, but powder not salt
noodles--half smaller size box, about half cooked
mix all together in the pan, spread out evenly. Sprinkle with more cheese if you have it. Top with small can of french fried onions--try not to eat them all ahead of time, or buy big can. Cover with foil. Bake at lower temp for about an hour or so.
Not Your Mama's Tuna Casserole
Use a 13X9 glass pan.
2 cans tuna
1 can mushrooms
1 can cream mushroom soup
mayo--guessing about 1/2 cup
Parmesan cheese--guess 1 cup
sharp cheddar shred--1 bag give or take
frozen peas--just enough to bug the kids
garlic powder--1/8 cup? lots, but powder not salt
noodles--half smaller size box, about half cooked
mix all together in the pan, spread out evenly. Sprinkle with more cheese if you have it. Top with small can of french fried onions--try not to eat them all ahead of time, or buy big can. Cover with foil. Bake at lower temp for about an hour or so.
Thought It Was Monday
Just some notes today as things continue to be busy.
We are about to enter the birthday season around here. The Littlest Mr. will start us off, turning 7 tomorrow. Then Little Miss will turn 3, then Little Mr. will be 11 and finally Little One will turn 1. He's getting ready to take his first steps any day now.
Little One is going to have a longer road medically than I expected, but we'll just keep on, one step at a time. Progress is progress no matter what. I can't say that I fully agree with the Dr.'s plan or train of thought, but I understand it and respect it. In foster care, even though we are the primary care givers for a child we don't necessarily get to make the decisions. We sort of all have to compromise and try to hit a happy middle ground. Not always easy.
It was a very busy, yet relaxing, stay at home weekend for us. Other than a little get together for Little One with some of his siblings, we had the whole weekend to ourselves. What did we do with it? We grilled and mowed and flew some kites. Bikes were ridden and balls thrown. We had a fire in the fire pit while listening to the Brewers--nothing sweeter my friends. We stayed up late and slept in. We read. We did laundry and homework. We played video games and colored pictures. We climbed trees and tipped the swing set.
I'd like to introduce you to yet another blog written by a wonderful, amazing woman that I'm just getting to know in real life. Pop by, read a little, say hi, spread the love! Check her out at Live...from Ninevah.
We are about to enter the birthday season around here. The Littlest Mr. will start us off, turning 7 tomorrow. Then Little Miss will turn 3, then Little Mr. will be 11 and finally Little One will turn 1. He's getting ready to take his first steps any day now.
Little One is going to have a longer road medically than I expected, but we'll just keep on, one step at a time. Progress is progress no matter what. I can't say that I fully agree with the Dr.'s plan or train of thought, but I understand it and respect it. In foster care, even though we are the primary care givers for a child we don't necessarily get to make the decisions. We sort of all have to compromise and try to hit a happy middle ground. Not always easy.
It was a very busy, yet relaxing, stay at home weekend for us. Other than a little get together for Little One with some of his siblings, we had the whole weekend to ourselves. What did we do with it? We grilled and mowed and flew some kites. Bikes were ridden and balls thrown. We had a fire in the fire pit while listening to the Brewers--nothing sweeter my friends. We stayed up late and slept in. We read. We did laundry and homework. We played video games and colored pictures. We climbed trees and tipped the swing set.
I'd like to introduce you to yet another blog written by a wonderful, amazing woman that I'm just getting to know in real life. Pop by, read a little, say hi, spread the love! Check her out at Live...from Ninevah.
Friday, May 22, 2009
Poetexting
No, not sexting, which has been the big thing in the local high schools, but poetexting. Sort of like an ultra modern Haiku. What is the most beautiful, haunting, exquisite, raw, expression you can create in 140 characters or less.
I want to hit this on a second side though, too.
Communication is key.
Key to everything in life. It gets you the basics, a correct order at the drive through, the ability to read the menu, get a job, have and use currency, have and maintain friendships and all the other things that are so obvious I could fill pages with them.
It's a crazy thing though, this techno driven world we live in. We're texting and IM-ing and Tweeting and blogging and all that other stuff, but we're often really not communicating and we're not gaining from all this modern technology. We should be using it to our advantage, right, we are the "superior species" after all or so I've been told.
Anyway.
For example, I'll admit, I'm a Facebook junkie. It entertains me. I love to read all the little status updates and it makes me feel a lot closer to some of my real life friends that I don't get a chance to see in person or spend much real life time with, but, it is very rare that we are able to have an actual online real time exchange of conversation.
In a way, it's great that we are able to exchange so many one-liners and have so much electronic small talk. It builds a great level of comfort and opens the door to build some real trust and then someday a deeper level of honesty and openness. Authenticity I like to call it. I love to know a person deeply, to have them feel that they can share the innermost things of their hearts with me. It is a tremendous privilege and something that drives me to continue on in creating and maintaining relationships.
That said, I think we should be looking at how to use this technology to our advantage in our relationships. Not only our casual friendships and our best friends, but with our partners. It can be the thing that keeps the link strong, especially in this world of working continuous hours, always being on the run. Think of how often you find yourself getting to the end of a week and realizing you haven't had a "real" conversation with your partner all week. Or that you're trying to keep a relationship on solid ground but you and your partner are much more like roommates as you rush past each other and collapse into bed every night too exhausted to even say goodnight.
It happens. Even in the best relationships. The ones that look rock solid on the outside, may still be at a crumbling point on the inside. It's all about communication.
So, for today, I'll offer up a little bit of personal communication.
The Mr. and I have always been writers. Long ago we passed spiral notebooks back and forth in the halls between classes. Then he went ahead and graduated--the nerve--and took off to another state to attend college. I'll confess, we both wrote letters to each other. Every day.
Later in the early years of our marriage when travel for work was at an all time high, we used email to our advantage. There was a constant flow back and forth.
Now, we've moved on to texting.
Here's what it looks like.
The Mr. Good morning love. I hope you slept well.
Hey Mom Sleep is but a fairy tale dried up with the dew by the dawning of the sun.
The Mr. That's good. That's real good. I'm guessing that...a Diet Coke in the morning mist is a salve on the scars of the destructiveness of the darkness
Hey Mom I'm about to drink my own coffee. Pray for me.
Part of this exchange is only funny if you know that I make the worst coffee in the whole world and often when The Mr. travels he will premake coffee for me. All I have to do is take it out of the freezer and put it into the pot and add the water. This week we were joking around about Starbucks and so the premade packets were overlooked. I was left to my own destruction, I mean my own devices. And so I'm having coffee this morning, and it's keeping my eyes open, but it's sure not good coffee.
Find your communication pattern and embrace it. If you're a phone call person, stick to it and keep at it. If you're an emailer, do that. If you need to do most of your communication in person--the ultimate I think--make it happen. The people, the relationships are worth it.
Okay, so here's your holiday weekend challenge. Try out some poetexting. It's easier than it looks. Take a deep breath. Write the words that lurk in your heart and then let them go.
Happy Friday!
I want to hit this on a second side though, too.
Communication is key.
Key to everything in life. It gets you the basics, a correct order at the drive through, the ability to read the menu, get a job, have and use currency, have and maintain friendships and all the other things that are so obvious I could fill pages with them.
It's a crazy thing though, this techno driven world we live in. We're texting and IM-ing and Tweeting and blogging and all that other stuff, but we're often really not communicating and we're not gaining from all this modern technology. We should be using it to our advantage, right, we are the "superior species" after all or so I've been told.
Anyway.
For example, I'll admit, I'm a Facebook junkie. It entertains me. I love to read all the little status updates and it makes me feel a lot closer to some of my real life friends that I don't get a chance to see in person or spend much real life time with, but, it is very rare that we are able to have an actual online real time exchange of conversation.
In a way, it's great that we are able to exchange so many one-liners and have so much electronic small talk. It builds a great level of comfort and opens the door to build some real trust and then someday a deeper level of honesty and openness. Authenticity I like to call it. I love to know a person deeply, to have them feel that they can share the innermost things of their hearts with me. It is a tremendous privilege and something that drives me to continue on in creating and maintaining relationships.
That said, I think we should be looking at how to use this technology to our advantage in our relationships. Not only our casual friendships and our best friends, but with our partners. It can be the thing that keeps the link strong, especially in this world of working continuous hours, always being on the run. Think of how often you find yourself getting to the end of a week and realizing you haven't had a "real" conversation with your partner all week. Or that you're trying to keep a relationship on solid ground but you and your partner are much more like roommates as you rush past each other and collapse into bed every night too exhausted to even say goodnight.
It happens. Even in the best relationships. The ones that look rock solid on the outside, may still be at a crumbling point on the inside. It's all about communication.
So, for today, I'll offer up a little bit of personal communication.
The Mr. and I have always been writers. Long ago we passed spiral notebooks back and forth in the halls between classes. Then he went ahead and graduated--the nerve--and took off to another state to attend college. I'll confess, we both wrote letters to each other. Every day.
Later in the early years of our marriage when travel for work was at an all time high, we used email to our advantage. There was a constant flow back and forth.
Now, we've moved on to texting.
Here's what it looks like.
The Mr. Good morning love. I hope you slept well.
Hey Mom Sleep is but a fairy tale dried up with the dew by the dawning of the sun.
The Mr. That's good. That's real good. I'm guessing that...a Diet Coke in the morning mist is a salve on the scars of the destructiveness of the darkness
Hey Mom I'm about to drink my own coffee. Pray for me.
Part of this exchange is only funny if you know that I make the worst coffee in the whole world and often when The Mr. travels he will premake coffee for me. All I have to do is take it out of the freezer and put it into the pot and add the water. This week we were joking around about Starbucks and so the premade packets were overlooked. I was left to my own destruction, I mean my own devices. And so I'm having coffee this morning, and it's keeping my eyes open, but it's sure not good coffee.
Find your communication pattern and embrace it. If you're a phone call person, stick to it and keep at it. If you're an emailer, do that. If you need to do most of your communication in person--the ultimate I think--make it happen. The people, the relationships are worth it.
Okay, so here's your holiday weekend challenge. Try out some poetexting. It's easier than it looks. Take a deep breath. Write the words that lurk in your heart and then let them go.
Happy Friday!
Thursday, May 21, 2009
Five 5's
On Facebook there's an application that prompts you with a question then you give your top five answers. It amuses me, so I thought I'd borrow the idea and give you Five 5's today. Besides, my mind is wandering way to much to do write anything else.
5 Things People Call Me
1. Hey Mom
2. Jen
3. Jennifer
4. Jenny
5. Ma'am
5 Things I Do Every Day
1. cook a meal
2. change a diaper
3. use my computer
4. text
5. read
5 Things That I Say Often
1. Just a minute
2. NO
3. Don't touch
4. Holy Macaroni
5. I love you
5 Favorite Things I Do When I'm Without The Kids
1. Eat out
2. Get a coffee and read
3. Meet friends for a drink
4. Shop
5. Take a trip or vacation
5 Things That Make Me Who I Am
1. Bill--20 odd years shapes a person
2. Cooking
3. Reading
4. Writing
5. Friends--blessed with lots to play and hang with and a few who really know me
Now it's your turn, in the comments leave me a 5 for the day. Pick anything, 5 favorite songs, 5 favorite drinks, 5 names you go by, 5 things you've done with me, 5 things I should blog about, 5 things to do to get a toddler to take a nap! Readers choice, top 5, play along or this will be really dull!
5 Things People Call Me
1. Hey Mom
2. Jen
3. Jennifer
4. Jenny
5. Ma'am
5 Things I Do Every Day
1. cook a meal
2. change a diaper
3. use my computer
4. text
5. read
5 Things That I Say Often
1. Just a minute
2. NO
3. Don't touch
4. Holy Macaroni
5. I love you
5 Favorite Things I Do When I'm Without The Kids
1. Eat out
2. Get a coffee and read
3. Meet friends for a drink
4. Shop
5. Take a trip or vacation
5 Things That Make Me Who I Am
1. Bill--20 odd years shapes a person
2. Cooking
3. Reading
4. Writing
5. Friends--blessed with lots to play and hang with and a few who really know me
Now it's your turn, in the comments leave me a 5 for the day. Pick anything, 5 favorite songs, 5 favorite drinks, 5 names you go by, 5 things you've done with me, 5 things I should blog about, 5 things to do to get a toddler to take a nap! Readers choice, top 5, play along or this will be really dull!
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
A Plain Ordinary Day
Yup. That's how it is sometimes.
Cleaned some carpets. I won't tell you how much I hate carpet. That'll be another day.
Almost got stung again. I got away this time unlike last week. Hopefully my finger will go back to it's normal size and I'll be able to put my rings back on soon.
Chased, I mean, walked around the block with Little Miss riding trike again. Yeah, slower than you'd think. It's hilly here and that slows her down. Plus we had to stop for all the flower petals blowing in the wind.
She doesn't understand pollen is BAD! Ah, well, just because the rest of us are dying a slow sinus death, doesn't mean she is.
Tried to decipher an insurance issue. Again. I won't tell you how much I hate insurance. And being on hold. And automated phone answering systems.
Chased my gutter down the street. Chased a toy car. Chased several balls. Chased a toddler.
Got the house ready for our adoption worker so that she could cancel her visit. Again.
Forgot about dinner. Again.
Cleaned some carpets. I won't tell you how much I hate carpet. That'll be another day.
Almost got stung again. I got away this time unlike last week. Hopefully my finger will go back to it's normal size and I'll be able to put my rings back on soon.
Chased, I mean, walked around the block with Little Miss riding trike again. Yeah, slower than you'd think. It's hilly here and that slows her down. Plus we had to stop for all the flower petals blowing in the wind.
She doesn't understand pollen is BAD! Ah, well, just because the rest of us are dying a slow sinus death, doesn't mean she is.
Tried to decipher an insurance issue. Again. I won't tell you how much I hate insurance. And being on hold. And automated phone answering systems.
Chased my gutter down the street. Chased a toy car. Chased several balls. Chased a toddler.
Got the house ready for our adoption worker so that she could cancel her visit. Again.
Forgot about dinner. Again.
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
I Didn't Forget...
Well, I sort of did. My mind has become like the black hole these days. Things go in and never come out again. I used to be really great at remembering when appointments were or what commitments were coming up on the calendar. Well, these days, not so much.
I "loose" things in my mind all the time. Worse, they sometimes come back at odd times. I'm in the middle of doing one thing or thinking about one thing and another long lost black hole thing jumps back to the front of my brain.
It makes me sigh.
Anyway, this is leading me back to a topic I said I would blog about a few weeks ago. It seems these days if I don't do it right at that moment, life keeps moving at a pace that I almost don't have an opportunity to get back to it.
So I was going to share some of my thoughts on the school meeting I went to. As you recall, last month we joined the world of public school. On that front I can say, it was a good decision for all involved. It continues to be a good thing for us all. Not necessarily easy, but then again, in this life, if it's easy, you should be a little nervous.
It was a combination meeting, meet the new super, hear about the budget, hear about a focus school or what ever it's being called, 4 year old kindergarten and moving the 6Th grade to the middle schools.
I went for a few reasons. First we're new to "the system" and I always think it's best to go early. Meaning, I find it's always to my advantage, on any topic, to make it my job to gather information. I am always proactive no matter the subject or topic to gather as much information at the start of something as I possibly can. It's a good way to hit the ground running so to speak. Plus then you're in the habit as things get rolling to keep on thinking and gathering information.
The next reason I went was that they 4K and middle school issues are supposed to hit in 2010. At that time I will have both a 4 year old and a 6Th grader, God willing. I wanted to hear early on, from the source what the story was.
I guess in a way, I was already suspicious of the other parents.
The meeting was an eye opener.
In the nicest possible way, a lot of these parents are really nuts!
It's a confirmation of other experiences I've had with parents in the last 2 years. It is not limited to what sort of school you are choosing for your kids.
There was great protest about 4K. In my opinion, yes that's an issue right there, my opinion, a lot of it was really silly. One of the complaints was that this would be daycare. What the school district will be offering is just a few hours a few days a week with a certified teacher. I'm going to let the certified teacher issues go by without a word here, but let me offer up, 2 1/2 hours is not daycare. You can't get much done in that time frame and after you go through all the "bother" of getting them up, ready and out the door on time, driving them over, checking them in, going back home or to your errand, turning around, going back again, checking them out, it's really almost a waste of time. Anyone who has ever done any sort of preschool or Sunday school knows that the check in check out process can take a really long time.
Plus, think back to the smoking ban. Public school is a choice. The law doesn't require school until age 6. Before that, it's a parents choice. You may home educate your 4 and 5 year old. You may choose a preschool for them. You may choose to do nothing.
There were, of course, other issues, but I thought this negated all of them. If you don't like it, or don't want it for your child, don't do it. Pretty simple.
Moving on. 6Th grade middle school. Oh my.
So here are some of the "reasons" why they are going to move the 6Th grade from elementary school to middle school. Class size and offerings. At the middle schools they expect to be able to divide the classes into 3 at each middle school instead of 2 at each elementary school. All seemed to agree that the current classes were too large at 30 or more students per class. The next "plus" was that at the middle school they could offer more advanced or specialized niche classes earlier, because as well all know, nowadays it's all about being an expert. General education doesn't cut it anymore. We're creating target schools from preschool on up. Think language immersion schools or any version of school for the arts.
Ahem.
I won't go there.
My favorite issues with this set of changes had to do with the ages of the kids and the class sizes. Everyone was all for smaller classes because some great harm is coming to the kids by being in a large class.
Um, college lecture hall anyone?? 100+ students in whatever 101? Didn't kill most of us, right? If it was an issue for you, you transferred to a smaller school, picked a different school in the first place or simply endured it and found a way to cope, right? I know we're talking littler kids here, but come on. Anyone ever go to school in a big city?
So here's my story in regards to class size.
As a kid, my family moved around. No big deal, we adapted. It wasn't always great, but it wasn't awful either. We made it through.
My grade schools were all average size. My middle school was either 6-8 or 7-9, I honestly can't remember. See how significant that issue was. Anyway. The total population of my school was somewhere around 3000 students. That puts about 1000 kids in each grade.
Now, one of the objections was that there could in theory end up being 1000 kids in each middle school.
Big deal.
I moved again just before starting my freshman year of high school. My new class had about 200 students in it. It's easy math so I'll do it for you, that means there were about 1000 students total in my high school at any given time. It was a traditional 9-12 high school.
I was really hopeful. I thought small town, smaller class, easier to make friends.
The opposite was actually true. It was much harder to fit in and make friends because everyone already knew each other. They had all been in diapers together and I was the outsider.
Funny though, the physical moving around in the high school was no big thing for me. In my middle school we had lockers in the halls and moved classrooms every hour. It was a three story building. It had a pool. So many of the things that were a "big deal" for the new freshmen were old hat to me because I'd already done it for years.
No harm came to me from being in a big school or a big class. No harm was done by trading classrooms hourly "at an early age".
My message to parents would be, your kids are better than you think. They do the right things more often than not. They love you behind your back. They are resilient and brave and survivors.
Yes, there are always exceptions. Yes, we have to be on guard. Yes, we need to try to help them have what they need in terms of education whether it's academic or life skills, but we can't do that by locking them away in a protective bubble.
We all laugh in our living rooms at the baby wipe commercial with the baby in the bubble and the overprotective mom, but we do it all the time to our kids. It's just often less obvious than the big plastic bubble.
Keep your eyes open to see your kids for who they are becoming, not who you fear they could become. Keep your ears open and your mouth shut, they will talk. Keep your heart open and they will learn to love you to your face. Keep your knees bent, pray over them when they're watching and when they aren't.
Okay, again, getting down off my rant and moving on.
I "loose" things in my mind all the time. Worse, they sometimes come back at odd times. I'm in the middle of doing one thing or thinking about one thing and another long lost black hole thing jumps back to the front of my brain.
It makes me sigh.
Anyway, this is leading me back to a topic I said I would blog about a few weeks ago. It seems these days if I don't do it right at that moment, life keeps moving at a pace that I almost don't have an opportunity to get back to it.
So I was going to share some of my thoughts on the school meeting I went to. As you recall, last month we joined the world of public school. On that front I can say, it was a good decision for all involved. It continues to be a good thing for us all. Not necessarily easy, but then again, in this life, if it's easy, you should be a little nervous.
It was a combination meeting, meet the new super, hear about the budget, hear about a focus school or what ever it's being called, 4 year old kindergarten and moving the 6Th grade to the middle schools.
I went for a few reasons. First we're new to "the system" and I always think it's best to go early. Meaning, I find it's always to my advantage, on any topic, to make it my job to gather information. I am always proactive no matter the subject or topic to gather as much information at the start of something as I possibly can. It's a good way to hit the ground running so to speak. Plus then you're in the habit as things get rolling to keep on thinking and gathering information.
The next reason I went was that they 4K and middle school issues are supposed to hit in 2010. At that time I will have both a 4 year old and a 6Th grader, God willing. I wanted to hear early on, from the source what the story was.
I guess in a way, I was already suspicious of the other parents.
The meeting was an eye opener.
In the nicest possible way, a lot of these parents are really nuts!
It's a confirmation of other experiences I've had with parents in the last 2 years. It is not limited to what sort of school you are choosing for your kids.
There was great protest about 4K. In my opinion, yes that's an issue right there, my opinion, a lot of it was really silly. One of the complaints was that this would be daycare. What the school district will be offering is just a few hours a few days a week with a certified teacher. I'm going to let the certified teacher issues go by without a word here, but let me offer up, 2 1/2 hours is not daycare. You can't get much done in that time frame and after you go through all the "bother" of getting them up, ready and out the door on time, driving them over, checking them in, going back home or to your errand, turning around, going back again, checking them out, it's really almost a waste of time. Anyone who has ever done any sort of preschool or Sunday school knows that the check in check out process can take a really long time.
Plus, think back to the smoking ban. Public school is a choice. The law doesn't require school until age 6. Before that, it's a parents choice. You may home educate your 4 and 5 year old. You may choose a preschool for them. You may choose to do nothing.
There were, of course, other issues, but I thought this negated all of them. If you don't like it, or don't want it for your child, don't do it. Pretty simple.
Moving on. 6Th grade middle school. Oh my.
So here are some of the "reasons" why they are going to move the 6Th grade from elementary school to middle school. Class size and offerings. At the middle schools they expect to be able to divide the classes into 3 at each middle school instead of 2 at each elementary school. All seemed to agree that the current classes were too large at 30 or more students per class. The next "plus" was that at the middle school they could offer more advanced or specialized niche classes earlier, because as well all know, nowadays it's all about being an expert. General education doesn't cut it anymore. We're creating target schools from preschool on up. Think language immersion schools or any version of school for the arts.
Ahem.
I won't go there.
My favorite issues with this set of changes had to do with the ages of the kids and the class sizes. Everyone was all for smaller classes because some great harm is coming to the kids by being in a large class.
Um, college lecture hall anyone?? 100+ students in whatever 101? Didn't kill most of us, right? If it was an issue for you, you transferred to a smaller school, picked a different school in the first place or simply endured it and found a way to cope, right? I know we're talking littler kids here, but come on. Anyone ever go to school in a big city?
So here's my story in regards to class size.
As a kid, my family moved around. No big deal, we adapted. It wasn't always great, but it wasn't awful either. We made it through.
My grade schools were all average size. My middle school was either 6-8 or 7-9, I honestly can't remember. See how significant that issue was. Anyway. The total population of my school was somewhere around 3000 students. That puts about 1000 kids in each grade.
Now, one of the objections was that there could in theory end up being 1000 kids in each middle school.
Big deal.
I moved again just before starting my freshman year of high school. My new class had about 200 students in it. It's easy math so I'll do it for you, that means there were about 1000 students total in my high school at any given time. It was a traditional 9-12 high school.
I was really hopeful. I thought small town, smaller class, easier to make friends.
The opposite was actually true. It was much harder to fit in and make friends because everyone already knew each other. They had all been in diapers together and I was the outsider.
Funny though, the physical moving around in the high school was no big thing for me. In my middle school we had lockers in the halls and moved classrooms every hour. It was a three story building. It had a pool. So many of the things that were a "big deal" for the new freshmen were old hat to me because I'd already done it for years.
No harm came to me from being in a big school or a big class. No harm was done by trading classrooms hourly "at an early age".
My message to parents would be, your kids are better than you think. They do the right things more often than not. They love you behind your back. They are resilient and brave and survivors.
Yes, there are always exceptions. Yes, we have to be on guard. Yes, we need to try to help them have what they need in terms of education whether it's academic or life skills, but we can't do that by locking them away in a protective bubble.
We all laugh in our living rooms at the baby wipe commercial with the baby in the bubble and the overprotective mom, but we do it all the time to our kids. It's just often less obvious than the big plastic bubble.
Keep your eyes open to see your kids for who they are becoming, not who you fear they could become. Keep your ears open and your mouth shut, they will talk. Keep your heart open and they will learn to love you to your face. Keep your knees bent, pray over them when they're watching and when they aren't.
Okay, again, getting down off my rant and moving on.
Thursday, May 14, 2009
So Is It Just Me That Wonders About This Stuff?
I'm thinking that I may be the only person that notices this stuff. Life just doesn't make sense.
Let's take the smoking ban for a second. Health issues aside because regardless of how much of a vice it may be for you personally, it's pretty hard to argue that smoking is actually not an unhealthy thing to do. Whatever.
So all across the country cities are becoming "smoke free". Public places are being forbidden by law to allow customers to smoke in their establishments. Now, obviously some of this is good for public safety, like no smoking in a movie theater because they burn down with lots of people in them in the dark. Very bad. Or perhaps natural selection? No smoking in say, hospitals where people are already dying. Okay. Seems good. No smoking in factories with explosive chemicals? Works for me.
But let's get back to this ban in restaurants and bars, parks, etc. Last I checked you were able to choose freely where you wanted to eat or drink. That means if you don't like the atmosphere, don't go there. Last I heard smoking and smoking products were still legal.
Simplistic, I know, but follow this fool for just a second.
Smoking products are legal. It is legal to use, purchase, produce and sell smoking products.
But, no pun intended, we're slowly and methodically baning all the places you can smoke.
Wouldn't it just be easier to make all things smoking illegal? Like a smoking prohibition?? Outlaw the production and sales of all things smoking and add on a law making it illegal to light up in this country or otherwise use a smoking or tobacco related product.
That ought to do it, right?
Let's hope they never get to chocolate, caffeine, TV or whatever might be your vices.
Next up, another of today's headlines. It seems pretty scary.
The numbers of the unwed pregnancy rates from around the country are in. They're on the rise, alarmingly, according to the paper. From 2002 to 2007 the percent of babies being born to a single mom is up to 26%. In Wisconsin the number has gone from roughly 14% of all births being to a single mom in 1980 to a shocking 36% in 2007.
The article included some scary quotes too. Like this is just an example of the "transformation of social norms" and this a reflection of a "trend" of "what young adults want". ???
Young adults want to be single parents?? Um, yeah, sure I'm whole heartedly believing that. Yeah, I know all about it, but this is the generation that grew up mostly in single parent homes and it was so incredibly wonderful for them that they want to repeat it for their own children? Right.
Actually I suspect this statistic is related to yet another statistic.
The nations abortion rate is at it's lowest level since 1974. Since it's all time high in 1990, it's been in constant decline.
So, as a country we did a great job of presenting the evil of abortion, giving it a whole new stigma and in turn becoming almost accepting of unwed pregnancy, because at least the baby is alive.
Ahem.
Look for a moment with me at some of the babies that survive being unwanted. Born addicted and disabled in some way to a mom who never wanted them. Raised in a home, maybe, with a marginal sense of family at best? Maybe shuffled off into foster care? Maybe not?
And as a society we do what to support the single moms who birth these kids? And we support the kids how again?
Yeah, it's cynical Suzie today over here.
There is just so much wrong all through this topic that I am almost speechless.
Craziness. It's cultural craziness.
Now, I'm sure some of my uber-Christian pals will take great issues with me on these things, my sort of half stance, my lack of venom in convicting others in their wrongs, and yet I'm oddly okay with letting God do that part. I'm simply today, just recognizing and calling attention to this mess. And there are plenty of messes I'm skipping for today like divorce, war and gays. I guess, I just haven't yet met a sinless person, my Savior aside, and so I'll stick with my stance of not pecking someone else's face with their sins for knowing that I'd get the favor returned. Personally, I feel safest having God judge my sins instead of you, nothing personal.
Sort of like my constant chatter on foster care. It's time for all of us to tune in. It's time to admit we have broken societies, families and systems for helping those broken. It's time to admit we don't have all the answers and that we never will. It's also time to stop flapping our faces and start using our hands. It's time to stop feeling outrage and judgement and hostility for things we don't agree with or understand and start spreading the love.
So get out there, put yourself and all your own garbage in check, and start loving.
Descending soap box now. Putting down my daily rant. Moving on and letting it go.
Let's take the smoking ban for a second. Health issues aside because regardless of how much of a vice it may be for you personally, it's pretty hard to argue that smoking is actually not an unhealthy thing to do. Whatever.
So all across the country cities are becoming "smoke free". Public places are being forbidden by law to allow customers to smoke in their establishments. Now, obviously some of this is good for public safety, like no smoking in a movie theater because they burn down with lots of people in them in the dark. Very bad. Or perhaps natural selection? No smoking in say, hospitals where people are already dying. Okay. Seems good. No smoking in factories with explosive chemicals? Works for me.
But let's get back to this ban in restaurants and bars, parks, etc. Last I checked you were able to choose freely where you wanted to eat or drink. That means if you don't like the atmosphere, don't go there. Last I heard smoking and smoking products were still legal.
Simplistic, I know, but follow this fool for just a second.
Smoking products are legal. It is legal to use, purchase, produce and sell smoking products.
But, no pun intended, we're slowly and methodically baning all the places you can smoke.
Wouldn't it just be easier to make all things smoking illegal? Like a smoking prohibition?? Outlaw the production and sales of all things smoking and add on a law making it illegal to light up in this country or otherwise use a smoking or tobacco related product.
That ought to do it, right?
Let's hope they never get to chocolate, caffeine, TV or whatever might be your vices.
Next up, another of today's headlines. It seems pretty scary.
The numbers of the unwed pregnancy rates from around the country are in. They're on the rise, alarmingly, according to the paper. From 2002 to 2007 the percent of babies being born to a single mom is up to 26%. In Wisconsin the number has gone from roughly 14% of all births being to a single mom in 1980 to a shocking 36% in 2007.
The article included some scary quotes too. Like this is just an example of the "transformation of social norms" and this a reflection of a "trend" of "what young adults want". ???
Young adults want to be single parents?? Um, yeah, sure I'm whole heartedly believing that. Yeah, I know all about it, but this is the generation that grew up mostly in single parent homes and it was so incredibly wonderful for them that they want to repeat it for their own children? Right.
Actually I suspect this statistic is related to yet another statistic.
The nations abortion rate is at it's lowest level since 1974. Since it's all time high in 1990, it's been in constant decline.
So, as a country we did a great job of presenting the evil of abortion, giving it a whole new stigma and in turn becoming almost accepting of unwed pregnancy, because at least the baby is alive.
Ahem.
Look for a moment with me at some of the babies that survive being unwanted. Born addicted and disabled in some way to a mom who never wanted them. Raised in a home, maybe, with a marginal sense of family at best? Maybe shuffled off into foster care? Maybe not?
And as a society we do what to support the single moms who birth these kids? And we support the kids how again?
Yeah, it's cynical Suzie today over here.
There is just so much wrong all through this topic that I am almost speechless.
Craziness. It's cultural craziness.
Now, I'm sure some of my uber-Christian pals will take great issues with me on these things, my sort of half stance, my lack of venom in convicting others in their wrongs, and yet I'm oddly okay with letting God do that part. I'm simply today, just recognizing and calling attention to this mess. And there are plenty of messes I'm skipping for today like divorce, war and gays. I guess, I just haven't yet met a sinless person, my Savior aside, and so I'll stick with my stance of not pecking someone else's face with their sins for knowing that I'd get the favor returned. Personally, I feel safest having God judge my sins instead of you, nothing personal.
Sort of like my constant chatter on foster care. It's time for all of us to tune in. It's time to admit we have broken societies, families and systems for helping those broken. It's time to admit we don't have all the answers and that we never will. It's also time to stop flapping our faces and start using our hands. It's time to stop feeling outrage and judgement and hostility for things we don't agree with or understand and start spreading the love.
So get out there, put yourself and all your own garbage in check, and start loving.
Descending soap box now. Putting down my daily rant. Moving on and letting it go.
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
Episode # 379 of Toddler Jack*#%
Same show, just with nursery rhymes for dialogue.
In today's episode, Hey Mom once again made the fatal mistake of leaving the 2 year old Little Miss unsupervised for mere minutes.
Hey Mom thought Little Miss was still at the table with her older sib, Little Mr. He was deep in yet another book and she could have given him a hair cut without him noticing.
Instead of doom music, there was a sweet peace in the house.
That should have been a huge alarm bell with flashing lights, but no, Hey Mom was lulled by the quiet, her senses dull from lack of sleep, the caffeine buzz long gone as the dinner hour approached. Hey Mom was feeling content, accomplished in fact. Laundry for 6 was nearly complete after 10 hours of sorting, stain treating, washing, drying and folding. There was one clean load left in a basket on top the washer, just waiting to be hauled up stairs, folded and put away.
Dim the lights, this is where disaster strikes.
Little Miss was helping to clean up my laundry room.
Wondering how she helped?
First she sprayed the nice, thick, soapy, stain treatment on everything. The washer, the dryer, the walls, the floor, that last load of clean laundry...
then,
yes, there was more help,
then,
she used the swiffer sweeper as a sort of cleaning rifle.
When Hey Mom came around the corner, Little Miss had that sucker hoisted on her hip and was busy pressing the button. A nice steady stream of cleaning fluid coating everything.
Hey Mom is now doing laundry again. Things in the laundry room are quite shiny and slippery. The rug is in the trash. Little Miss is on time out until Hey Mom is done with her own time out.
Breathe in, count to 10, breathe out, repeat the mantra, she's only helping.
Hey Mom is certain she will find things for the next few weeks that need to be washed again.
Hey Mom is also certain that those 12 bar rags she used to clean the walls, the washer, the dryer, the floor, etc. will NOT need any soap when she washes them and they will need SEVERAL extra rinse cycles.
This episode is currently unavailable for your viewing pleasure, but enjoy the transcript.
In today's episode, Hey Mom once again made the fatal mistake of leaving the 2 year old Little Miss unsupervised for mere minutes.
Hey Mom thought Little Miss was still at the table with her older sib, Little Mr. He was deep in yet another book and she could have given him a hair cut without him noticing.
Instead of doom music, there was a sweet peace in the house.
That should have been a huge alarm bell with flashing lights, but no, Hey Mom was lulled by the quiet, her senses dull from lack of sleep, the caffeine buzz long gone as the dinner hour approached. Hey Mom was feeling content, accomplished in fact. Laundry for 6 was nearly complete after 10 hours of sorting, stain treating, washing, drying and folding. There was one clean load left in a basket on top the washer, just waiting to be hauled up stairs, folded and put away.
Dim the lights, this is where disaster strikes.
Little Miss was helping to clean up my laundry room.
Wondering how she helped?
First she sprayed the nice, thick, soapy, stain treatment on everything. The washer, the dryer, the walls, the floor, that last load of clean laundry...
then,
yes, there was more help,
then,
she used the swiffer sweeper as a sort of cleaning rifle.
When Hey Mom came around the corner, Little Miss had that sucker hoisted on her hip and was busy pressing the button. A nice steady stream of cleaning fluid coating everything.
Hey Mom is now doing laundry again. Things in the laundry room are quite shiny and slippery. The rug is in the trash. Little Miss is on time out until Hey Mom is done with her own time out.
Breathe in, count to 10, breathe out, repeat the mantra, she's only helping.
Hey Mom is certain she will find things for the next few weeks that need to be washed again.
Hey Mom is also certain that those 12 bar rags she used to clean the walls, the washer, the dryer, the floor, etc. will NOT need any soap when she washes them and they will need SEVERAL extra rinse cycles.
This episode is currently unavailable for your viewing pleasure, but enjoy the transcript.
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
National Foster Care Month
You've been off the hook for a good 10 days here this month and not so much for lack of effort as the complicated nature of technology and the simplicity of my mind.
Yesterday I was YouTube-ing trying to find some videos to show you about Foster Care. I watched a bunch, saw a few that were good and then couldn't figure out how to make them move from there to here and was too lazy to make the link and remember that picture from this morning, well, they were "helping" too. Let's just say that shutting off the power does not help blogs to post very well.
Ahem.
Yeah, anyway.
So I'm wondering what you think happens to Foster Kids. Do you know? Do you wonder? Has it ever crossed your mind?
I'm guessing if you know me in person, I've bent your ear this way once or twice before.
Lots of them, I think around half, that's about 250,000 I'd guess, age out and become the nations young homeless.
Of the rest, some go home and some go to forever homes. I'm not sure I'll ever know which of those is "better" or if there even is a better. In the end, the damage is done either way and even when the child wins, they loose.
Not all Foster Care survivors go on to perpetuate the system by becoming birth parents who lose their children to the system. They don't all go on to become addicts, criminals or child abusers.
A lot of them grow up to become regular "normal" people like you and me. They have jobs, homes and families. They are "productive members of society".
What an interesting phrase.
Hmm.
But that aside, I'm trying to jog your mind about Foster Care. I'm trying to plant a few new thoughts or thoughts that stick and linger so that Foster Kids come to mind a little more often and maybe, just maybe, you'll be spurred to action. Any sort of action, that helps a child who is living a life they didn't deserve.
So, here's a little list of some "famous" or "successful" former foster kids.
Alonzo Mourning
Cher
DMC from Run DMC
Ice T
John Lennon
Marilyn Monroe
Eleanor Roosevlet
Willie Nelson
Duante Culpepper
Eddie Murphy
Eriq LaSalle
James Dean
Malcolm X
Dr. Ruth
Babe Ruth
Victoria Rowell
Not all of them were in a traditional or official foster care program, but they were raised in something far form the ordinary 2 parent family.
Something to think on.
These foster kids are not something to be ignored or written off.
Yesterday I was YouTube-ing trying to find some videos to show you about Foster Care. I watched a bunch, saw a few that were good and then couldn't figure out how to make them move from there to here and was too lazy to make the link and remember that picture from this morning, well, they were "helping" too. Let's just say that shutting off the power does not help blogs to post very well.
Ahem.
Yeah, anyway.
So I'm wondering what you think happens to Foster Kids. Do you know? Do you wonder? Has it ever crossed your mind?
I'm guessing if you know me in person, I've bent your ear this way once or twice before.
Lots of them, I think around half, that's about 250,000 I'd guess, age out and become the nations young homeless.
Of the rest, some go home and some go to forever homes. I'm not sure I'll ever know which of those is "better" or if there even is a better. In the end, the damage is done either way and even when the child wins, they loose.
Not all Foster Care survivors go on to perpetuate the system by becoming birth parents who lose their children to the system. They don't all go on to become addicts, criminals or child abusers.
A lot of them grow up to become regular "normal" people like you and me. They have jobs, homes and families. They are "productive members of society".
What an interesting phrase.
Hmm.
But that aside, I'm trying to jog your mind about Foster Care. I'm trying to plant a few new thoughts or thoughts that stick and linger so that Foster Kids come to mind a little more often and maybe, just maybe, you'll be spurred to action. Any sort of action, that helps a child who is living a life they didn't deserve.
So, here's a little list of some "famous" or "successful" former foster kids.
Alonzo Mourning
Cher
DMC from Run DMC
Ice T
John Lennon
Marilyn Monroe
Eleanor Roosevlet
Willie Nelson
Duante Culpepper
Eddie Murphy
Eriq LaSalle
James Dean
Malcolm X
Dr. Ruth
Babe Ruth
Victoria Rowell
Not all of them were in a traditional or official foster care program, but they were raised in something far form the ordinary 2 parent family.
Something to think on.
These foster kids are not something to be ignored or written off.
Mom's Computer Time
This is what it looks like when I try to use my computer. They climb on my lap, touch, wiggle and slobber.
And you wonder why the posts are confusing or incomplete. Add in my lack of sleep and caffeine consumption and it's a wonder you ever understand anything I put up over here!
Friday, May 8, 2009
Friday Folly
This is what I did today.
And, you know what, it was fun. It was really fun. The other moms were amazing. What great company for such an awful hour of the morning!
Just a few stats from this morning.
4 very busy moms. 3 hair stylists. 1 make up artist.
13 children between us.
3 moms with 4 kids each.
3 moms with special needs kids.
2 foster moms.
I almost forgot, being on TV makes you notice things about yourself too. For example, that one's face is very crooked! Although, for being half rebuilt, not too shabby, I think.
Lots of laughter!
And, you know what, it was fun. It was really fun. The other moms were amazing. What great company for such an awful hour of the morning!
Just a few stats from this morning.
4 very busy moms. 3 hair stylists. 1 make up artist.
13 children between us.
3 moms with 4 kids each.
3 moms with special needs kids.
2 foster moms.
I almost forgot, being on TV makes you notice things about yourself too. For example, that one's face is very crooked! Although, for being half rebuilt, not too shabby, I think.
Lots of laughter!
Tuesday, May 5, 2009
A Day Of Surprises
My plan for today, see that's where I went wrong. Right from the start, I had a plan. Well anyway, it sure didn't include a trip to the ER or winning a contest, but that's how it all worked out.
Little Miss did a craft cut and paste this morning that included cutting her finger. Dr. Mike over in the ER did a lovely job of paste. So, we "stuck" with the theme and completed our "cut and paste" project. I'm happy to say, other than a very cranky toddler, she will be just fine.
When I got home I had a message on the machine, nothing unusual about that around this place, but the message was odd. Seems I'd won a contest, thanks to The Mr.
He wrote me up and entered me in a Mom of the Year Contest. Myself and 3 other moms have been chosen to receive a nice prize and be celebrated as Mom of the Year. All in all, it's a great prize and should be fun, even if I'm going to pass out and die. Yeah, you guessed it. I have to be in front of people. On TV no less. So on Friday check out The Morning Blend on WTMJ. I'm going to try my best to enjoy it and not freak out over it. Expect to see a new me, thank you Institute of Beauty and Wellness.
I am actually feeling a bit embarrassed about this whole thing, as much as I'm excited about having a whole new look. It's been years since I've gone beyond the long pony tail and worn mom look, so this should be great fun. But, as far as moms go, I know a whole lot of moms that are way more qualified for a Mom of the Year prize than I am. I don't do much beyond changing diapers and helping with homework.
I'm just like every other mom. There is laundry that needs to be done and dishes in the sink. Dinner got forgotten about again, so it'll be freezer diving for us. My shirt is smeared with peanut butter and blood. My purse if full of diapers, nuks, and toy cars. My van usually looks like a toy box and smells like a locker room. My shower is full of super hero's. I pack school lunches at midnight when everyone else is finally asleep. I drink way too much coffee and diet Coke. I weigh too much and still eat what I like. I spend all the cash on the kids. I sit in the grass and draw on the driveway. I read Dr. Seuss and Good Night Moon. When they're all asleep, I kiss sleeping heads and pray over beds. I'm just a mom. Just like you.
I'm no more Mom of the Year than any other Mom.
So if you want to check out the post make over look and see me pass out in public, tune in on Friday morning.
Little Miss did a craft cut and paste this morning that included cutting her finger. Dr. Mike over in the ER did a lovely job of paste. So, we "stuck" with the theme and completed our "cut and paste" project. I'm happy to say, other than a very cranky toddler, she will be just fine.
When I got home I had a message on the machine, nothing unusual about that around this place, but the message was odd. Seems I'd won a contest, thanks to The Mr.
He wrote me up and entered me in a Mom of the Year Contest. Myself and 3 other moms have been chosen to receive a nice prize and be celebrated as Mom of the Year. All in all, it's a great prize and should be fun, even if I'm going to pass out and die. Yeah, you guessed it. I have to be in front of people. On TV no less. So on Friday check out The Morning Blend on WTMJ. I'm going to try my best to enjoy it and not freak out over it. Expect to see a new me, thank you Institute of Beauty and Wellness.
I am actually feeling a bit embarrassed about this whole thing, as much as I'm excited about having a whole new look. It's been years since I've gone beyond the long pony tail and worn mom look, so this should be great fun. But, as far as moms go, I know a whole lot of moms that are way more qualified for a Mom of the Year prize than I am. I don't do much beyond changing diapers and helping with homework.
I'm just like every other mom. There is laundry that needs to be done and dishes in the sink. Dinner got forgotten about again, so it'll be freezer diving for us. My shirt is smeared with peanut butter and blood. My purse if full of diapers, nuks, and toy cars. My van usually looks like a toy box and smells like a locker room. My shower is full of super hero's. I pack school lunches at midnight when everyone else is finally asleep. I drink way too much coffee and diet Coke. I weigh too much and still eat what I like. I spend all the cash on the kids. I sit in the grass and draw on the driveway. I read Dr. Seuss and Good Night Moon. When they're all asleep, I kiss sleeping heads and pray over beds. I'm just a mom. Just like you.
I'm no more Mom of the Year than any other Mom.
So if you want to check out the post make over look and see me pass out in public, tune in on Friday morning.
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